


Living is hard, loving is harder, but letting go is impossible.

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Kane (Band), One Tree Hill RPF, Smallville RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-02
Updated: 2008-11-15
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:44:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8727790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Summary: It’s hard to raise a child and go to college at the same time, but Jensen manages with help of his mom and awesome friends. When his daughter Sam finds a new friend, it turns Jensen’s life upside down also. Jared is easygoing guy from rich family, who hides a secret or two. When energetic little girl bounces in his life, Jared starts to see how empty his life was before





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

  
Author's notes: jensen has to work hard and jared goes partying with his friends  


* * *

“Shit. God damn it!” _Aarg… I hate this fucking day_! Jensen was walking along the hallway to the schools main doors. Other students were rushing from point A to point B like mad bees or just standing on his way and his nerves were almost run out. 

Jensen pushed the doors open, bright light hurting his eyes. The day was doomed almost from the beginning and last couple of hours has been like a pure hell. Every one in and out of Jensen's classes was being airheads again and even his class partner had lost his brains somewhere between school and home. ”God”, Jensen muttered under his breath. Some guys were sitting on stairs; he knew them by their names. Fucking Rosenbaum from his class and his crazy ass friends. They were talking loud and making jokes about others. Jensen looked them and shook his head with annoyed sigh as he put his sunglasses on and made his way to his bike. It was so good to get the hell out of here, to spend the weekend with his friends, working his ass off. * * Classes were over and Jared was sitting on stairs just outside the main doors with couple of his friends when this hot guy passed by them. Mike saw him too; saw the guy looking them with annoyance in his face before sunglasses covered those green, green eyes and the guy turned to walk away. ”What the fuck is that guy's problem?” Tom rolled his eyes with sigh. ”Dunno, maybe he's bitchy?” Jared smirked. ”Yeah, he's in my English class, he’s some kinda badass geek o' something. Eli’s friend, you know”, said Mike before he stood up beside Tom. Jared was still staring after him. _He's smoking hot,_ _definitely some freaky shit._ He thought.

Jared got up on his feet and glared at Tom and Mike. Mike wiggled his brows. “So, what are you doing tonight? Some ass shaking maybe?” ”Dunno man, 'm going…” Jared didn't even get to finish. “ You doing nothing! You are so coming with us, dude!” Mike smirked and slapped Jared's back. Jared just rolled his eyes and walked the stairs down with Mike and Tom. * * Their home was two-stored old house in Bakersfield suburb. It was friendly neighbourhood. Lot of old people living in there. It was almost four when Jensen finally parked his bike on the driveway. Jensen opened door to a quiet and empty house. His mom and Sam were visiting his sister Mackenzie. 

The house was homey. Old but comfortable furniture, Brown colours and pictures covered almost every surface. Jensen threw his keys on table and walked in to the kitchen to make some badly needed coffee. There were some bills and what not, on counter. _Nothing... nothing... these are waste of paper…_ Jensen threw them away and went to cupboard to fetch a mug. _Couple of hours free time, what the fuck ‘m gonna do?_ Jensen scratched his neck and poured coffee in mug. He sipped his coffee while thinking and looked out of the window. Ms. Drake was watering her lawn. Other side of the street, some children were fooling around. It made him sigh and he stood up to put the mug in sink. He stretched his stiff limbs before heading to shower, he stripped while climbed up on stairs and left his clothes wherever they landed.

* *

“So, where we heading?” Jared tapped his fingers on wheel while waiting the lights to change. Chad was in his own world again, listening his iPod and probably thinking something sick and perverted. But hey that’s just our little Chad.

“We could go to Wood’s”, Mike suggested.

Llight changed to green and Jared steered the car trough to crossing.

“Fine by me. Tom?”

“Sounds great”, Tom smiled from backseat. * *

Half an hour later Jensen came out of bathroom. _Damn it’s good to be home alone. Doesn’t matter if I walk around without anything on._ His phone rang when he was trying to decide what to wear. Only in his boxers Jensen picked up the phone and answered it.

“Yeah?”

“ _Jenny!!”_

“Piss off Chris. How many time do I have to tell you not to call me that you son of…”

_“Hey that’s my ma you talking about and_ _come on you like it, admit it.”_ Jensen could hear smirk in Chris’s voice.

“If its make you sleep better. So did you want something or just trying to piss me off?”

“ _Har har…”_ Chris might be his best friend, but sometimes he wondered why he but up with him. “ _Yeah, but seriously I just wanted to ask if you need a ride?”_

“Thanks but I got it covered. Eli’s is taking me.”

“ _Okay. How is he? You going to visit Maddy?”_

“Eli’s good. Garage keeps him busy. Yeah, we are going today.”

_“ She is doing good too_ _?_ _”_

“She is trying, but it’s hard you know, it’s been hard over a three year. And it’s not gonna change.”

“ _Yeah I know.”_

“She’s on differed meds now tough. It will take time before they can say if the meds works.”

“ _How… What, um…what about her attacks?”_

“Yeah, she still has them, nothing major, but it’s just so unfair that she is in that condition.”

“ _I_ _know, but there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to bee there for her. We all have to be…”_

“It’s just hard for everybody. Especially for Eli and Sam. Sam, she is so young and she just tries to understand why she can’t be with her mother, and Eli, it’s killing him to see her in that state.”

“ _I’m sure Maddy knows how lucky she is to have you, guys, in her life. Have your support. You just have to stop beating yourself about this. Okay?”_

“Yeah, I guess. But I really need to get going; Eli said he would pick me up around six or so. See you at work, ‘k?”

_“Sure_ , _see you then. Say hi to Maddy, will ya?”_

“Will do. Bye!” Sighing, Jensen sat down on his bed. He ran his fingers trough his hair and hung his head between his shoulders. _I hope she’s having good day._

* *

Jared was trying to eat, he really were, but Chad was going on and on about some chick he had sex with and now Jared had this image in his head, where Chad is frigging naked and… It wasn’t pretty.

“Dude, ‘m trying to eat man! That’s just gross.”

Rolling his eyes Chad pointed to his friend.

“You are so gay my friend. Gay as they come.”

“I’m not. I don’t do lapels and you know it.” Jared huffed.

“Yeah, you know Jared. My man just likes everything.” Tom smiled to Jared and Jared couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thanks Tom.” Tom’s smile just grew bigger.

“So he is totally bi.” Chad said, laughing. Jared threw his fries on Chad’s head.

“And you are bitch.”

* *

Eli drummed his finders on the steering wheel while trying to figure out what was going in Jensen’s pretty head. He knew that Jensen was probably thinking about Madeleine. Hell he was thinking her too. It was hard not to. Every time he visited her, Eli remembered that time when they all were happy and young. They were the inseparable. 

“You are thinking too loud.” Eli smiled to Jensen.

“Uh… Um, what?“ Jensen looked him with question in his eyes.

“I just said that you think too loud.”

“Yeah. Sorry. Too much going in my head.”

“’k. So, when you folks come home?” Eli looked Jensen, knowing Jensen didn’t want to talk about it. Not yet.

“Sunday.”

Eli parked his car in front of the Deline, bar where Jensen worked.

“Do you need ride home? I need to do couple things but ‘m free after midnight.”

“My shift ends two a.m. so see you then? thanks man”

“Ok!” Eli looked while Jensen opened the door and got out oh the car. Small smile on his lips Jensen waved goodbye. Eli raised his hand before he got the engine running and peeled out of the parking lot. Jensen watched the car to disappear before he headed inside.

* *

Upon entering, Jensen saw Chris behind the counter preparing to busy night and he went to greet his friend.

“Hey bitch.” Jensen said and leaned against the counter.

Chris smiled. “You are the bitch.” 

“Ass.” Jensen muttered back, but he was smiling.

“Well you came early.” It was Jeff, the owner of the Deline, who spoke behind Jensen. Little startled Jensen turned to speak to him.

“Yeah, my shift starts at nine and it’s almost…” Jensen smirked to Jeff.

“Oh, it’s so late. ‘I’m so out the mill today, but hey time to work then.” He clapped his hand together and winked to boys.

Twenty minutes later Jensen was leaning against door when Jeff came to tell him that he could open the door and let the crowd in. Jensen looked out the door and noticed that the line was long. _Damn it’s going to be busy and long night_. He let the first customers in. They were two girls and Jensen thought that they looked maybe little too young. Both of them showed their id’s and Jensen looked at the pictures _._ He flashed big smile to them.

“Oh do you think ‘m blind or something.”

Both girls blushed really prettily and muttered something. Jensen laughed.

“Go home or wherever, but I can’t let you two in. Sorry. Maybe after you are legal” Girls walked away and Jensen looked around. His eyes landed on Mike’s friends. _Oh fuck. Do I really need to see them more than at school? Damn, this is just my luck._

* *

“You are an ass, you know that do you?” Jared looked at Chad. Chad rolled his eyes and smiled.

“It’s Friday and we are going to get some ass.” He winked to Jared.

Jared whacked him upside down to head. 

“I don’t need that, I don’t do that. I’m so not like that.”

“I know man, let’s just have fun. ‘K.?”

“Okay.” Jared breathed. He knew what people talked about him, he didn’t really mind what everyone was talking about him, saying that he fucked everyone ‘cos he knew it wasn’t true, but sometimes he just wished that… And then Jared saw him. It was the bouncer, the guy from school.

“Mike, isn’t that the guy we saw earlier? At school?”

Mike looked at the bouncer.

“Yeah, that’s him, Jensen.”

_Oh… he is hot._ Jared thought by himself. He saw that Jensen guy looking at them before some guy came talk to him. The other guy said something to Jensen, which made Jensen smile. That smile was hottest smile Jared had ever seen. _I don’t even know the guy and I already think about his smile. Well, shit._

* *

“Jensen!” Jensen smiled to Steve’s energetic greeting. 

“Tonight is going to be wild, lots of students.” Steve glanced the line where everybody was waiting. 

“Oh, look there is your boy.” Steve smirked when he saw Jared’s big ass in the waiting line.

“Shut up, he ain’t my boy. I know what he is, just another stupid frat boy and I said only ones that he is hot.” Jensen glared at Steve, but Steve just rolled his eyes and clapped on Jensen’s back.

“If you say so.”

Jensen was still laughing when Steve disappeared inside.

* *

The bar was full, Chris was working at the bar with Jeff and Steve played music. Jensen was checking around. He saw that Jared guy and Mike with their friends on the dance floor and he hoped that they would behave. He didn’t want any fights tonight. Jared was dancing with some hot guy, but that didn’t mean that Jared was gay. Okay. He definitely was something; maybe Bi and he had one hot ass. Jensen remembered the time when he did something fun, not that he didn’t do anything fun these days, and it was just different kinda fun now. He was 24 years old and he was student in college. He had to work his ass of to bay bills and take care of his family. _Yeah, what a wonderful life._ Jensen sighed. Thank god it was his brake time. Jensen waved Jeff to the door and he himself went to get beer from Chris.

* *

Jared looked at Jensen who was behind the counter with the bartender. They were probably friends, Jensen laughed and smiled a lot with the guy. Jared knew that Jensen was little bit older than him, and studied English. He had heard rumors about Jensen’s connections and some thought that Jensen was bad news, but Jared didn’t care. Hell he had couple of secrets in him too and he was totally trashed and really horny. _This is my time to go home_ he thought. 

“I think I’m heading home now.” He slurred and stumbled when he try to stood up. His friends rolled their eyes, but nevertheless Mike stood to steady him.

“Yeah, you look you need some help man.”

Jared smiled at him. “I think I need a ride too. Could you call someone?”

Mike opened his phone and dialed. Jared didn’t hear whom he called; he was too occupied with Jensen. He was talking with some hot new guy.

“Jay man, Sandy is coming to pick you up, okay?” Mike’s voice snapped him out of his musings.

“Yeah. I go outside and wait her, see you all later.” He waived his hand and made his way to the door.

It was Jensen who opened the door for him. Jensen was smiling and Jared smiled back.

“Good night.” Jensen said with husky voice. Jared just nodded speechless and hornier than ever.

* *

Steve was cleaning up tables and Jeff was sweeping the bar’s floor. He swept the empty bar with his eyes before turning to Chris. Chris watched him, smile on his face and handed Jensen a beer.

“Some tequila tomorrow?” 

Jensen nodded.

“Sounds good, mine’ or your’?”

“Steve’s girlfriend is coming tomorrow so it’s your’ then.” Chris winked at him.

“Okay. ‘I’m gonna call Eli, so see you tomorrow.” He handed the empty bottle to Chris and waved good byes to Steve and Jeff. Jensen took his phone out of pocket, dialed Eli’s number and hit the button.

After three calls Eli picked up.

“Jen?”

“Yeah it’ me, I‘m off now.”

“Right, give me um, ten minutes and ‘m there.” Came the sleepy reply.

“No props, I wait outside.”

“See ya.”

Eli hung up and Jensen headed out to wait.

* *

_Shit. My head is exploding._ He had major hangover and he had to pee so badly, but before he could even open his eyes, his room door slammed open there was one mike too much in his bed. Pouncing like crazy five year old that he was. 

“Morning sunshine!” Mike squalled and giggled and Jared shoved him off the bed.

“Looks like our princess is little grumpy this fine morning.” He grinned wild, sitting on floor.

“Fuck off.” Jared shouts and hides under the covers. Mike pulled his blanket off, shoving what a gruel friend he was.

“It’ one already you sleepy head. Get your ass up now; we are going to get some breakfast. So come on.” He threw pillow on Jared’ head. Jared grunted and threw it back at him.

“Fine. I need to get some clothes on, so some privacy please.” He waved his hands round. Mike winked before he ran out and left the door wide open. 

“Argh… I hate my life” Jared yelled and sticked his head under the pillow.

* *

It was two when Jensen finally woke up. It was his day off and he had shit load of things to do before Chris got there. And first thing first was to get some coffee. Shower wasn’t needed ‘cos he had showered before getting bed. He hated the smell of smoke that stuck on him after work. Jensen put on old sweat pants and plain t-shirt before heading kitchen to put some life nectar coming.

While waiting the coffee maker finish, Jensen started to prepare breakfast.

With his coffee and breakfast ready, Jensen sat down to eat. There were comic books on the table. They were Sam’s. Jensen smiled because he could imagine if Sam found out that he was reading one of her spider man comics, she would be one really pissed off little girl. Nobody was allowed to touch her comics. Yeah Sam was little different than other girls. She loved football, cartoons and comics, but most she loved cars. She could spend hours and hours with Eli when he fixed them. Sam maybe knew more about cars than Jensen did. It was so cute and funny to see when five years old girl talked car like a pro. 

_Damn I miss her._


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: Beta: deanbear25 (livejournal)  
jensen goes out with chris and freaks out in the next morning, jared has major hungover   


* * *

Jared’s head still hurt like hell from partying and he was tired, but some fresh air would be good for his hangover so he decided to walk to the diner with Tom and Mike. It was only a couple of blocks away, anyway. Jared walked a few steps behind Mike and Tom. He didn’t want to be associated with them because Mike was being crazy, scaring people by hugging them for no reason. 

When they were almost at the diner, Mike jumped in front of an old guy, who stopped dead in his tracks, and Mike asked him to marry him. The old man inhaled loudly and looked at Mike as if he was something disgusting. Jared might have felt sorry for him if he hadn’t been feeling nauseous and irritated. Tom pulled Mike away from the man and glared at him, but Mike just flashed a huge smile. “I feel amazingly good today and I want to share the feeling!” Tom slapped him across the head, “Are you six or something?” Pouting, Mike lifted his hands to protect his head and wailed. “Dude! Watch the hair!” Looking confused, Tom stared at Mike’s bald head. “Um, what hair?” “This right here. Don’t you see it?” Jared saw Mike point to his scalp before he pushed through the arguing couple and entered the diner, cursing all the way. 

* *

Jensen was sorting out laundry when his phone rang. Throwing down the t-shirt he was holding, Jensen took the phone out of his jeans pocket to answer it.

“ _We’re almost there.”_

_“_ Chris? What do you mean ‘we’? Who’s with you?”

Jensen closed the hatch and turned the washing machine on.

“ _Just Sophia and Justin, you remember them? They’re your friends too.”_

“Oh okay. When do you get here?

“ _We’re kind of already parked in your driveway._ ” 

”Then why the fuck are you calling me?”

” _Just wanted to know if you were home._ ” Jensen sighed, _damn moron_. __

“You are an ass.”

_“Ooh, Jenny’s talking all sweet and stuff.”_ Jensen hung up with a huff and went to open the door for the dickhead who also went by the name Christian Kane.

* *

Later that day, Jared was lying in his bed when there was a soft knock on his door. “Come in” he sighed. It was Sandy, who walked in and closed the door, settling next to Jared on his bed. “Hi sweetie.” She fiddled with Jared’s hair, running her fingers soothingly across his scalp, which made Jared lean his head further into her lap. “You had rough morning?” she whispered. Jared cracked his eyes open and looked at her tiredly. “Yeah, a little bit.” Sandy gave him a comforting smile, and they sat there like that for a while: Jared’s head on Sandy’s lap and Sandy petting his hair and humming softly. Jared knew he would fall asleep if he didn’t move so he sat up beside her and together they leaned against the headboard, their shoulders touching lightly. ”What are you doing tonight?” Jared asked. “I don’t know. Maybe we could go out somewhere?” Sandy chewed her lip, eyes sparkling. Jared scratched his stubbly cheek, pondering. “Yeah. There’s a party tonight at that new club. Could be interesting.” Jared shrugs his shoulders, but his face was picture of excitement. She got up off the bed, smiling back. “It might be. Do you want me to ask Mike and Tom to join us?” “Sure.” Jared stood up to stretch his limbs and when he lifted his arms, he got good whiff of his armpits. “Oh God, I really need to take a shower, I smell like something rotten.” He took off the shirt he was wearing and dumped it in the laundry basket beside his closet. Jared opened the closet door to pick clothes for the evening. _Shit. There’s nothing to wear. Laundry day is tomorrow I think._ “Sandy! What am I going to wear?” He whined. “You damn big girl.” Sandy blew a kiss at Jared and waltzed out of the room. Jared shook his head, laughing, and headed to bathroom to get ready.

* *

Sandy heard someone giggle in Mike and Tom’s room. She smiled and knocked on the door. Someone cursed and she heard Mike laugh. “Just a sec,” Tom yelled on the other side of the door. She stood there tapping her feet on the floor while waiting. Tom opened the door looking a little bit flustered. “Did I interrupt something?” Sandy leered. Tom’s face reddened even more and he spluttered embarrassingly. “No, of course not. Right Mike?” He turned to glare at Mike. Mike smiled wider and winked at Sandy before speaking. “Just sucking Tom’s cock, that’s all.” Sandy let out a surprised giggle, and Tom stared at Mike, horrified at his outburst. Then Tom got a calculating look in his eyes. He took a picture frame from the shelf beside the door and threw it at Mike, hitting him square in the chest. “Oof, you bitch! That hurt.” Mike looked really offended and pouted. “Aww, I’m sorry baby,” Tom said soothingly and moved to kiss Mike. Sandy cleared her throat when it seemed that they’d forgotten she was still standing there. Tom and Mike turned and looked sheepishly at her, both of them mouthing sorry. “Jared wanted to know if you wanted to come out with us tonight.” Tom wrinkled his brows “Depends where.” Sandy huffed a little annoyed “Well there is that new bar, surely you have heard of it, anyway I don’t remember the name of the place, but Jared and I are going to check it out and there is some party tonight.” Taking deep breath, Sandy stopped babbling. Tom looked at Mike questioningly. Mike waved his hands and smirked. “I‘m always up for partying. “ Tom shook his head but smiled fondly at Mike. “Guess we’re going then.” Sandy pumped her fist before she pointed her finger at Mike “And you’d better behave or you’re going to find your balls somewhere other than Tom’s mouth.” Mike shivered and glared her. “You are so not going to get near my balls. Ever, you hear me lady?” Sandy rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Your balls are safe for now. I’m going to go and see if Jared’s ready, and we’re leaving at nine” And then she was out of the room.

* *

The bar was over crowded, but Jensen was too drunk to care. Chris was talking about something important maybe, or probably not, but either way Jensen couldn’t concentrate on that. His head felt like it was full of warm air or something. Maybe it was just full of booze. Jensen looked around the bar, which was full of hot guys, and he really needed to get laid. Jensen knew he was handsome or whatever and he had heard it many times, but he was terrible at picking up guys _._ He didn’t know how to flirt with them or what to talk about with them and that’s why he sat alone at the bar, waiting for something or someone.

Jensen felt something sharp poke him on his hips and he turned to see what it was. A finger, Sophia’s finger, with sharp nails and it hurt like a bitch. “Jennnny” she slurred in his ear. Jensen tried to glare at her, but wasn’t too sure if it worked because she continued to smile and sway in time with the music. “What?” He demanded and took a long pull of his beer. “Gonna dance with me honey” and he didn’t even get a chance to decline before Sophia dragged his ass onto the dance floor. He didn’t really know how to dance either.

* *

Chris watched as Jensen was forced to dance with Sophia, and he sniggered at his friend’s misfortune while he made his way to the bar. He ordered another beer and turned back to face the dance floor. Chris was glad that Jensen had come with them. He knew that Jensen had big responsibilities and everything was hard for him, but it was nice to see him having fun and Chris could see that Jensen was now having the time of his life, sandwiched between Sophia and a young hot guy with floppy hair. _Whoa, that kid is tall. He reminds me of someone else._ From the corner of his eye, Chris saw a brunette sitting in couple of seats away and she was definitely checking him out. He sipped his beer and winked to the girl. _Cute enough, nice rack too,_ he smiled and went to try his charm on her. The night was turning out to be interesting.

* *

Jared wanted to go home. He’s headache was back, the club was full of screaming people, it smelled funny and he wanted to bitch to someone, but everyone had abandoned his whiny ass. Tom and Mike were dancing and having fun, and Sandy had disappeared with someone. He turned around and around on his seat trying to spot Sandy, but he saw something better. Maybe not better, because he saw Jensen, kissing a man on the dance floor. It was hot and it made Jared jealous at the same time and he wanted to go over there and hit the guy, but he didn’t have any right to do so. He tried to look away, but he couldn’t, it was too damn hot. He needed some fresh air to clear his head. Jared stood up and headed out of the bar quickly without looking back. 

It felt good to be outside. Cool wind blew on his heated face and he could breathe more freely. It was dark and peaceful as Jared leaned against the brick wall and called a cab to take him home, then he texted Sandy to tell her he was leaving. 

* *

 _Oh hell,_ Jensen groaned, pulling the covers over his head. He didn’t want to get up yet, but mom was going to be home in couple of hours. He turned around to look at the clock, but there was someone in his bed. _Shit, what the fuck,_ Jensen cursed as he jumped out of bed and tried to find his pants. His ass was little sore and there was a used condom by his knee. He found his pants under the bed and put them on before turning to check to see whom exactly he had slept with. The dude on his bed looked like a kid. A gorgeous kid, but kid nevertheless. 

“Dude” Jensen shook him, trying to wake him up, but the kid just mumbled something. Jensen wasn’t sure what.

“You really need to get the fuck out of here.” Jensen was picking up discarded clothes from the floor, putting his own on, when the kid opened his eyes. “Come on, wake up!”

“Hi” The guy said sleepily and stretched. Jensen whirled around and handed his clothes to him.

“Here, get dressed.” Then he sighed loudly. “I’m sorry. You probably are a nice guy and everything, but I don’t have any time for a relationship and you need to go. I’m really sorry.”

The kid just looked at Jensen and smiled. “It’s okay. I kinda figured this was only a one off, but it was fun. It was nice to meet you, Jensen.” Jensen felt bad as the kid got dressed and took off, disappearing from his life and he didn’t even remember the kid’s name.

* *

Chris heard his phone ringing as he yawned and looked at the clock. 8.48 a.m. It was way too early to be awake, but it might be Jensen and well, if he remembered correctly, Jensen had left the club with someone. _He’s probably freaking out. Fucking pansy that he is._

“Do you know how early it is?” he barks.

“ _Dude chill, I know”_

“Somehow I knew it would be you, Jensen.”

_“Shut up. What the hell happened yesterday because I woke up this morning and there was a guy in my bed?”_

“And…”

_“And I don’t even know who the hell he was”_

“You didn’t ask?”

_“NO! I just kicked him out.”_

“What? You got laid and you don’t even remember who he was and you kicked his ass out at nine in the morning? That is just mean, man.”

“ _I know, but I didn’t know what to do and mom is going to be home soon. I panicked.”_

“Yeah that’s not exactly new, but can we talk later, please? I really wanna have little more shut eye. Okay?”

“ _Sure, call me later.”_

Chris hung up and threw his phone back on the nightstand. Smiling he shook his head and went back to sleep. Well, he tried, anyway.

* *

When Sandy woke up, she definitely wasn’t at home. There was a man sleeping beside her and okay, he was good looking, but he was total stranger to her. She tried to remember last night, but only remembered the amount of alcohol she had consumed and now she really needed to pee very badly. Carefully, Sandy untangled her hair out of the man’s fingers and got up to hunt down her clothes and a bathroom.

When she was ready to face the world again, Sandy headed back to the bedroom, but she stopped when she heard a phone ringing. She stayed behind the door and listened. _Nice voice. A singer maybe?_

After she heard him ending the call, Sandy took deep breath and went in. Looking surprised the man on the bed turned to look at her.“Oh hi, and you are?” Sandy laughed softly because she had hoped the guy could tell her what had happened. Seemed like it wasn’t going to happen. “Sandy. Sorry, I don’t really remember what happened last night so, um.” He started laughing too and between breaths, he introduced himself. “I’m Chris. Christian Kane.” __

* *

Jensen was cleaning tables at Mary’s, where he worked on Sundays and Wednesdays. There were only a couple of customers and he was sure Mary could take care of them, so it was safe to take a break and Jensen walked into the backroom. He stretched his arms and cracked his neck before he slumped down on the couch. He needed to call Jeff for a favor as it was almost four and his mom would need a ride to get home from the station, and Jensen had to work until seven. 

Jensen heard more people come in when he was finishing up his call. It was time to go earn his money and, as if on cue, Jensen heard Mary calling his name above. He sighed. “Yeah, I’m coming!”

* *

Jared walked toward his car, talking on the phone with Sandy. He leaned against the car door.

“So you really don’t remember last night?” Jared cackled evilly.

“ _No I don’t and stop laughing at me. Oh God, it was so embarrassing to wake next to someone whose name you don’t even remember.”_

“Ah, so how was he? You going to meet him again?”

“ _He was nice enough and I don’t know if I‘m going to see him, but he asked for my number, so maybe?_ ”

“Okay, but I‘m at my car and I need to get going, so see you later?”

“ _Yeah, tell your ma I said hi._ ”

“Sure, bye.” It was time to get this show on the road.

* *

Eli sat beside Maddy on the couch. She was under heavy medication, her pupils wide and her face expressionless. He hated days like that, when she didn’t react to anything. Of course, Eli talked to her, told her what was happening and sometimes she answered, or tried to answer, but usually she just stayed in her own world. Humming and staring out to nothing. “Have you made new friends here?” Eli leaned closer to stroke her hair. She didn’t say anything, just turned to look at him. Eli swept his thumb over her cheek. “Donna took Sam with her when she went to visit Mac.” She smiled as if she were listening. Eli lowered his eyes to his hand, “She misses you, Maddy.” With a sad little smile on her lips, she finally spoke, “I miss her too.” Before the last word was out of her mouth, she had turned away, back to her own world. 

Eli looked around the dayroom. There were only four patients in there and he knew only one of them besides Maddy, an older woman named Sherri, who talked about her sons all the time. Eli sighed and stood up. It was time to leave. He leaned in and kissed Maddy’s cheek. “See you next time. I love you.” He walked to the other side of the room where Sherri was sitting and staring at the door. Sherri smiled at him when he stood next to her. “Oh, hi Eli.” She had a big smile on her face. She was so different to Maddy that it hurt a little.” Good to see you Sherri, are you waiting for your son?” Sherri laughed, “As a matter of fact yes, and oh there he is now.” Sherri stood, excited, and laughed as she went to hug her son. Eli smiled too and looked over at the door. _Okay, so she is Jared’s mom._ Apparently,Jared was a bit surprised to see Eli there, too, but they shook hands politely. “Your mom never stops talking about you. Didn’t realize it was you though, but it was nice to finally meet one of the famous sons, although I have to get going. See you Sherri. Bye.” Eli waved his goodbyes. 

* *

It was past eight when Jensen finally got home. He was so tired and he wanted to go straight to bed, but he wanted to see his mom before that. Jensen headed to kitchen where the only light in the house was coming from. His mom sat there sipping coffee and going through the bills, and she lifted her head when she sensed her son’s presence in the room. Jensen smiled at her; it was good to see her again. “Hi baby.” He went to get a cup for himself before sitting down beside her. “Hi ma. How was your trip? Is Mac behaving herself?” Jensen looked at his mom with a happy smile on his face. ”It was fun, and Mac says she misses you. Of course she behaves: she’s my daughter.” Together they laughed quietly before a peaceful silence fell over the kitchen.

A little while later, Donna stood up yawning, “I‘m going to bed, but we’re going to talk more tomorrow. Good night, honey.” She leaned and kissed Jensen’s cheek. “Sweet dreams ma.” He watched her go to her room before he turned to clean up the mess he’d made then he switched the light out and went upstairs to get ready for bed. There were three doors off the hall: the first one on the right was his room and after that the bathroom, but third door on the left contained the fortress of 5 year old girl. He walked into the other bedroom where Sam was sleeping. Jensen sat down beside her and stroked her hair. She looked so peaceful, and he leaned to kiss her forehead. Sam opened her eyes smiling sleepily. “I missed you, Daddy.” Jensen smiled back at her. “I know you did. Daddy missed you too.” 


	3. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes: beta:cecily  
jared meets with sam and plays with her, jensen gets to know with mike. jared meets sam's family  


* * *

It was Wednesday afternoon and Sam was really happy to get a chance to play soccer in the park, she loved being there. The park was huge and beautiful, with plenty of space to run around, and usually there were other kids to play with. Today she had Kristen with her. Sam would have liked her dad to join her, but he had classes today and work after that. It was still nice that her uncle’s girlfriend had come with her. Sam carried her ball in one hand and held Kristen’s hand with the other. Kristen’s hand was smaller than her mom’s and her nails were longer too, but it was nice hand and she really liked her. Kristen was lot of fun and she didn’t yell. Well, sometimes she did, but not very loud. 

When they found a nice quiet corner where she could practice her skills without interruption, Sam left Kirsten to sit alone under big tree and went to kick her ball by herself. Sam wanted to learn to kick the ball as hard as her daddy could. Her daddy always said that if she practised enough, she could do whatever she wanted and she had practised a lot. 

Sam was trying to balance the ball on her foot when she heard barking. She looked around to see where the sounds were coming from and she saw two huge dogs running around behind the tree that Kristen was leaning on. She loved big dogs. Big dogs very more fun than the little ones like Chihuahuas and they were loud and dangerous. Sam had asked a puppy for her birthday but dad had said that she would get one when she was older. Dad was more cat person anyway, but she hated cats – well, she didn’t like them, but she wouldn’t want them dead. Sam looked at the dogs again and laughed out loud as the man they were playing with threw a ball to them and they crashed into each other as they went to fetch it.

* *

Jared opened the back door of his car and stepped aside as two huge mutts rushed out. Sadie and Harley jumped around and whined and made other dog noises as they made their way in the park. There weren’t many people here today even though it was a nice day. Jared loved fooling around with his dogs as he didn’t have time to play with them much, because they were living with his father. He hated that his apartment was so small and not animal friendly. He missed them most when he came home after school and they weren’t there to welcome him.

Jared took a ball out of his pocket and threw it to Sadie and Harley. He smiled when they rushed after him, snapping to each other and trying to show him who the boss was. He sat down on the ground to watch them play. Sighing, he closed his eyelids and started to think about the conversation he had had with his dad earlier that day.

When Jared had gone to get his dogs, his father had told him that he wanted to get a divorce from mom because everything had got too complicated. He had asked Jared to understand what his dad was going through and that he couldn’t go on like this anymore. Jared had been speechless. His mom needed medical attention and all the support she could get and his father wanted to leave them. Leave her. It was unbelievable. He had wanted to hit him, but in the end he simply left. 

Jared was brought back from his thoughts when a slimy ball was dropped on to his hand. “God dammit Harley, that’s gross!” Harley just watched him with huge eyes. Jared stood up to throw again, but the ball flew too far and he saw it land in front of small girl. She was cute little thing with curly brown hair and big green eyes. They looked vaguely familiar. She was coming towards him and Jared smiled at her when the girl looked at him, big grin on her face. “Oh you’re so tall. My daddy is tall too, but you’re huge. Like a Bigfoot.” Jared laughed at that.

* *

Sam smiled at the man. “I’m Samantha-Rose Navarro, but you can call me Sam. Everybody does. Is this yours, sir?” She handed the ball to the man. He took the proffered ball and laughed at her quick rambling. “Yeah it is. Thanks! My name is Jared, but you can call me Jay.” Sam was opening her mouth to speak when Jared’s dogs came jumping at her. Jared leaned over to stroke one of his dogs and spoke. “This is Sadie and that is Harley. They are siblings and they might look huge and scary, but they’re really like teddy bears.” Sam looked at Harley, who tried to catch something above him, but she could see there was nothing there. It was funny to watch and it made her giggle. “That looks silly. Silly little dog.” Quickly she slapped her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that.” She mumbled behind her hand. Jared took her hand in his. “Don’t worry Sam. Harley is a little silly. There is nothing to be sorry for.” Smiling brightly again, Sam took Jared’s hand and started to tug him. “Come on; let’s play with Sadie and Harley.” 

They played for a while with the dogs. Throwing the ball and running around laughing. They also played soccer, but Jared wasn’t any good in it so Sam helped him a lot. Still, it was fun and when Jared fell down on his butt, she couldn’t help but laugh hard. Her stomach ached from too much laughing. He was still swearing and muttering under his breath when Sam saw Kristen coming towards them. “Samantha, we should get going, your grandma will be home soon.” Sighing loudly, Sam went to tell Jared that she had to go home. “But if you want to play again some time, I’ll be here with my grandma on Friday.” With that, she took Kristen’s hand and waved goodbye to Jared.

* *

Jared watched them walk away. He had a good time playing with Sam and he was looking forward to doing it again. Sam reminded him of his sister Megan when she was younger, they had always had so much fun with her. Jared remembered the picnics in the park, taking her swimming, teaching her to fish and ride a bike and everything, but now she was gone and she would never come back. He felt hot tears fall to his cheeks and quickly swept them away before heading back to his dogs.

* *

Donna was cooking dinner in the kitchen when she heard the front door open and Sam coming in. “Grandma, where are you?” Donna heard her running around the house. “I’m in the kitchen sweetheart!” Donna was washing her hands when Sam dashed through the door, big smile on her face, and Kristen on her heels.” What I have told you about running in the house, young lady?” Donna scolded her, with a smile. Sam hugged her grandma. “No running in the house!“ Sam said and sat down around the table. Donna turned to smile at Kristen. “Thank you for watching her.” Kristen laughed, waving her hand. “No problem. It was fun, Mrs. Ackles. I can come again if you need me, just call. I have to go now though. Say hi to Jensen for me Sam!” Without looking up, Sam waved at her. “I will. Bye!” Laughing, Kristen said her goodbyes and walked out of kitchen. Donna turned back to Sam who was still concentrated on her comics. She remembered the day when Chris had given her first comic book to her. It was Sam’s third birthday and she had been in love with them ever since. Jensen had to read them to her over and over again. Donna shook her head as she took dishes out of the cupboard and laid them on the table. ”Go wash your hands Sammy, dinner’s ready, and take those books back to your room.” She smiled when Sam took her comics and rushed to do as she was told. 

”When will daddy be home?” Sam asked when she came back to kitchen. Donna rumpled her hair. ” He’ll come home when he’s finished work, around seven maybe.” Sam smiled faintly and looked up to her. “Yeah I know, but it would be nice if he could come home earlier.” Sam turned away, but Donna watched her slumped shoulders with a sad smile on her face. She wished that Jensen didn’t have to work so hard, but it was necessary if they wanted to keep the house. They ate their dinner in silence.

* * 

Jensen was so tired when he parked the car on they driveway. It was already past nine and he had promised to be home before eight. Sam was going to be really upset and he was too tired to argue with her. Jensen didn’t want to get out of the car and go inside, but he saw lights on in the kitchen. He knew it would be his mother, who would probably be upset too, or disappointed. Sighing, he got out of the car. 

As Jensen opened the front door, he saw his mom coming out of the kitchen to the hall. She looked tired and nothing else. Mentally Jensen breathed from relief. “Hi mom, is Sam already sleeping?” He took his jacket off and walked past his mother to the kitchen, stopping briefly to kiss her cheek. Jensen took cup of coffee and turned to lean on the counter, watching her. “Yes she is, she had an exciting day at the park. I think she got new friends today. She wanted to wait for you and tell you all about it, but she fell asleep at eight or so.” Donna smiled to him. Smiling apologetically, Jensen spoke softly.” Yeah I guessed she would. I hope I can go with her at the weekend.” The room fell silent for a while. “Ma?” Donna looked at Jensen questioningly. “What is it, baby?” Jensen exhaled loudly and smiled at his mom. “I’m sorry I was so late today. I feel so bad, because Sam was waiting for me and I wasn’t on time.” Hugging her son tightly her chest, Donna spoke soothingly. “It’s okay Jensen. You did your best and we both know that you are the best father that girl can have. I’m so proud of you. You take care of me, Maddie, Eli and Sam. That is amazing, baby! Don’t worry. Sam might have been a little upset, but tomorrow she’ll be okay, I promise.” “Now go on. It’s time to get some shut eye. I love you.” Jensen stood up. “I love you too, ma.”

Jensen was settled down on his bed, reading when Sam came to his room. “What is it? Baby, come here.” Sam walked next to his bed. “I had a bad dream,” She whispered. Jensen leaned to hug her and scooped her up on the bed with him. “You can sleep with me if you want,” He said, and kissed her cheek. Sam smiled. When they had settled back to the bed, under the covers, Jensen heard a faint “Daddy” and looked at his daughter. “Yeah sweetie?” He whispered back. “Sing to me daddy.” She asked. Jensen smiled and kissed her on her forehead and sang to her until she fell asleep. 

* *

Jensen woke up at eight o’clock next morning. He walked sleepily into the bathroom to take a cold shower, which would hopefully wake him up. He was still so tired, even tough he had slept pretty well last night. Sam had only kicked him three times in the groin and that was miracle in itself. 

After showering, Jensen made his bed and headed to the kitchen to get something to eat. His stomach was making weird noises. Sam and Donna were already eating breakfast and Jensen kissed Sam’s cheek, “Good morning sweetie” before he hugged his mom, “And good morning ma”. He took a cup of coffee and sat beside Sam. “So baby, I’m gonna pick you up from school today. That’s okay?” Jensen looked at his daughter while making toast for himself. Sam turned her surprised face to him. ”Yeah okay. But you don’t have to. I really could walk with Hannah and her mother.” Jensen flashed big smile to her “Yeah you could do that, or you could come with me to meet your godfather, but that’s up to you.” Jensen winked at his mom. Sam smile grew bigger. “Daddy! You know I love Chrizzy bear. I haven’t seen him for so long. He is so cool.” She got up and gave big hug to his dad before jumping up and down excitedly. “Okay then. Go get your stuff and hurry up or you’re gonna be late for school.” Jensen rumpled her hair. Sam dashed out of the kitchen. Donna smiled at her grandchild before she stood up and started to clean the table. “Momma?” Jensen looked at his mom as she got the dishwater ready. “Yeah honey?” Jensen came to stand beside her. “Do you think it would be good idea to take Sam to visit Maddy?” Donna turned to look at him contemplatively. “I don’t know honey, you should ask Madeleine’s nurse about that.” Jensen rubbed his forehead. “Yeah. You’re probably right. I should get going or my professor is going to kick my lazy ass. ” Donna glared at him, but there was amusement in her eyes when she said “Young man, do I need to wash you mouth?” Jensen’s face went red from shame. “Sorry ma” and he dashed out of the kitchen in his search of his daughter.

* *

Mike ran though the hallways, he was late again. When he arrived at the right hallway, he saw the door of English class still open and he sighed from relief; Mr. Marcy hadn’t arrived yet and Mike sauntered into the room. He looked around and saw that his regular seat was already taken. The only free seat was in the front row next to Jensen. Mike rolled his eyes and sat. He wriggled on his seat; he wasn’t used to sitting at the front of any classroom. Mike saw Jensen looking at him. “I always sit in the back,” Mike pointed helpfully. Jensen laughed a little. “Yeah I’ve noticed” but that was all they could say to each other before Mr. Marcy came in the class and slammed his hand down on the desk. “Good morning people, sorry I’m late. Please keep your voice down or feel free to leave. Thank you!” He looked around. “Okay, today we’re going to start a new assignment and it’s going to be teamwork.” He glared at the students. “Yeah I know you don’t like it, but my mother is sick and I need to take care of her, so, you’re going to write 2000 words about your class partner. And you Mike, I’m going to team up you with Jensen, because I know for sure that he’s not going to write it for you.” He clapped his hands together and flashed a wicked smile. “That’s your assignment, see you next week.” After Mr. Marcy walked out of the class, Mike glanced at Jensen. _Well damn. I’m so not gonna like this._

* *

Jensen walked out of the class with Mike on his heels. He didn’t have time for this today or even tomorrow. It was a stupid assignment, but from the little he knew about Mr. Marcy, he was sure it would be really bad not to do it. Turning to look at Mike, Jensen sighed. “Dude, can we do this on Monday?” Jensen looked at Mike hopefully. Mike smiled back nervously. “Er. You really gonna do this assignment with me?” Jensen shot an amused look at him. ”That’s the idea of teamwork, _duh”_ Mike visibly relaxed. “Okay then, Monday is good. Um where we gonna meet?” Thoughtfully Jensen rubbed his jaw. “You could come to my house. Yeah, I’ll give you my address on Monday, okay?” Mike grinned to him “Okay, see you Monday then.” Jensen watched as Mike bounced away singing. _That was odd…_

* *

Chris was sitting on the bench along the street. It was a nice warm afternoon and he was happy about seeing Sam again. That girl grew too fast. Every time Chris saw her, she had learned something new that made him really proud of her. Chris looked around and when he saw Jensen and Sam coming toward him, he stood up and waved his hand to them. When Sam noticed him she ran started to run toward him, screaming “Chrizzy bear!” before she jumped on him, hugging tightly and kissing his cheek sloppily. Chris hugged her back. After Chris had put her down, he drew Jensen in and gave him half hug and clapped his shoulder. “Man it’s good to see you both.” Chris rumpled Sam’s hair and she giggled. 

Chris guided them to the pizzeria. As they sat on the booth in the back, a waiter came to take their order. Chris and Jensen ordered two big pizzas and beers, and Sam chose a soda and small pizza. They talked for a little while waiting for their orders, mostly about what had happened over the last week. When their orders came, they ate in silence for a while, before Sam got bored and started to tell a story she had heard at school. Chris smiled and laughed the whole time and Sam continued to tell stories about school and her hobbies. Jensen teased her about the guy she had met while in the park with Kristen. After that Chris joined in the conversation, asking questions about the mystery boy.

They had a good time and it was late when Chris walked them to Jensen’s car. Sam gave him a hug and kissed him again before she went to wait in the car. Jensen smiled. “It was nice to spend time together.” Chris smiled back. “Yeah it was, but I think you should take the little lady home now. She’s practically asleep already.” Jensen looked into the car and laughed “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow at work”. Chris watched them leave and started to walk home. He had enjoyed today. Sometimes he thought about having own kids - he liked kids - but that meant that he had to find girlfriend first. And he didn’t really ‘do’ relationships.

* *

It was early on Friday when Jared parked his car and let his dogs out. Jared saw Sam kicking her ball and watched as his dogs made their way to her. He yelled at them to behave, but Sam just giggled when Sadie and Harley tipped her on the ground and lapped her face. Jared jogged the short distance between them and lifted her back to her feet. “Hi Sam.” Sam flashed big smile at him. “Hi Jay. Do you wanna play now that you’re here?” Jared grinned at Sam and nodded “Yup, and I’m gonna win this time.” Sam laughed and rolled her eyes “You wish” and she kicked the ball before running after it. Jared laughed out loud and followed her. 

They played and ran around for a while. When they were exhausted, they sat down to rest and Sam introduced Jared to Donna. Jared and Donna talked about things like school and work and Sam while they watched her playing with Sadie and Harley. Jared was listening to Donna’s story about Sam’s last game when Sam stood up and smiled brightly. “Oh daddy, you came!” She laughed and ran past the bench where they were sitting. Donna smiled and turned to look after Sam. “Hi honey.” Jared had heard a lot about Sam’s father, but he had never met the guy and he was curious, so he stood up and turned around to say hello. Jared froze before he could say anything. _Shit, God dammit…_ there, under the tree, was standing Jensen fricking sexy ass Ackles who was also Sam’s dad. _Why does the God hate me?!_


	4. Chapter 4

  
Author's notes: beta:deanbear25 (lj)  
jared and jensen finally meets in person  


* * *

As far as luck goes it seems that Jensen

As far as luck goes it seems that Jensen’s was still on the bad side. He was currently leaning against a tree watching his mom chatting with Jared, the guy who was the reason he was constantly walking around frustrated with a ridiculous hard on. Jared was standing calmly next to Jensen’s mom and daughter; smile as bright the morning sunshine while he goofed around looking like an overgrown puppy. To make matters more awkward Jensen didn’t even like the guy, yet every time he saw Jared, all the blood in his body headed straight to his cock, shutting down all higher brain function. 

After being spotted Jensen headed over to his daughter. Kneeling down beside her as he hugged and kissed his daughter “Hi sweetie. Did you have good day with Grandma?” Nodding excitedly Sam grinned at him while bouncing around “Yeah daddy I did, we had so much fun because Jay was with us along with Sadie and Harley… And now you can play with me and Jay and…” Even though Jensen laughed at Sam’s rambling, he couldn’t help but cringe on the inside, but like hell he could say no to her. 

Jensen stood up and glanced at Jared. He didn’t know what to do, or if should he say something. It also didn’t help that Jared wasn’t making a move to say anything instead he just smiled even bigger. 

“Don’t you just stand there Jensen. Where are you manners! ” His mom scolded him from where she was standing with Sam. “But ma!” he whined. Donna looked at her son amusedly and rolled her eyes. Jensen pouted but he knew it was stupid so he huffed his answer before his mother came up with some excellent idea to embarrass him “Okay, I’m Jensen, but you probably knew that already.” Jensen ran his finger through his hair and smiled sheepishly at Jared. “Yup, I kinda knew that, but it’s nice to meet you. You have a lovely daughter, very energetic” Jared said laughing. “Yeah, isn’t she? She can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but overall she is pretty special.” Jensen squeezed his daughter. Sam blushed and tried to push him off of her. “Dad, get off of me, you’re embarrassing me.” Jensen let her go and picked up the ball from the ground. “So are we going to play or what” he yelled as he flashed a big smile and kicked the ball away. 

They played while Donna sat on the bench and smiled. She couldn’t remember the last time her son acted so freely. She just wanted to him be happy. It took awhile before the fooling trio was too tired to play anymore, but everyone was happy. 

* * 

Jared was one tired but happy camper as he opened his car’s door to let Sadie and Harley in. Closing the door he turned to look at Jensen, who was standing beside his own car. Sam and Donna were already seated in the car talking; more like Sam talked and Donna listened. 

“This is awkward” Jared chewed his lips. “Tell me about it” Jensen said and leaned on his car. This was his chance to talk to Jensen privately and he didn’t know what to say. They just looked each other in uneasy silence. 

“You’re not the ass I thought you were” Jensen said. “ I’m not an ass, really I’m not. I’m nice and sweet guy” Jensen snorted which made Jared laugh and point his finger back at him “ and you aren’t as bad as I heard you were!” 

Jensen huffed and rolled his eyes. “Is that so. Really, I’m probably the most geekiest guy you will ever meet.” 

“Yeah, but everyone knows that you hang out with Eli” Jared pointed out. 

“So you thought that I was some gangster. Um, it’s nothing like that. Honestly, Eli is Sam’s uncle.” Jensen answered quietly. 

Jared felt like big jerk at the moment, but it was short lived when Jensen laughed at him. “Hey no panic. You didn’t know so lets forget about it, okay? “ Nodding Jared watched as Jensen opened his car door and went to get inside. “See you around Jared, and don’t forget that you promised Sam that you would come and play her new PS with her” Jensen winked at him and Jared just stood there feeling like love sick teenager, as Jensen started the car and backed out of the parking space and drove away. 

* * 

Chris was nervous as he stood in front of some damn restaurant, waiting for Sandy. He didn’t do restaurants and he so didn’t date, like ever. Still Chris stood in front of one waiting for his date and never before had he been nervous. Maybe it was because of Steve’s advices. He had to ask Steve how to treat a girl because normally he would just fuck the girl and that’s it, but Chris knew that Sandy was special. If he was being honest they hadn’t fucked that first time they woke up together. Yeah, he did remembered that much. 

Sandy’s ride parked in front of restaurant and Chris felt his palms sweating. _Fuck I’m like a teenager on his first date. I’ve already woke up beside her for fucks sake!!!_ Even though Chris was scared shitless from the inside he was determined to keep up a cool front so he walked over to meet her. Sandy was wearing a long red dress and her hair was pulled up with a couple loose curls framing her face. _She looks so beautiful_ Chris thought as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. “You look amazing,” he whispered in her ear “Oh, thank you” Sandy said and blushed. Chris took her hand in his own and smiled “Shall we go then?” Sandy giggled nervously and nodded and they walked inside together, talking animatedly. 

* * 

Tom was laying on their on the couch watching Dr. Phil, almost asleep when Jared came in and pushed his feet off of the couch and sat down beside him. 

“Where’s Mike?” Jared asked as he took the remote out of Tom’s hands. 

Tom huffed and sat up on the couch. “Some family emergency” Tom was clearly annoyed. 

Jared looked at Tom with an amused expression “And he left you home?” 

Tom rubbed his forehead and laughed sadly “Yeah, I didn’t wanna go. You know how his parents get when I’m with him” 

Jared looked over at his friend he knew the way Mike’s parent felt about him bothered Tom immensely. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for bringing it up. Um, soo… how was your day?” Jared flashed a big smile, the smile with the damn dimples. Tom smiled back, grateful from the change of subject. 

“Same as always, boring without Mike. What about you, haven’t seen you around today. Where have you been?” Jared moved awkwardly on his seat. “You’re not gonna believe me, but I spent the day in the park that’s near the campus.” 

Tom looked at Jared “Okay random. Um, why you were there?” Jared laughed sheepishly “I took the dogs and we played football with Jensen and his daughter” 

Tom looked Jared expectantly and nodded his head. It took a moment before Jared’s words sank in. It was hilarious to see the way Tom’s eyes widened. “What? A daughter? Jensen’s daughter? You are shitting man.” 

Jared laughed “Nu’ uh” Tom shook his head before turning his attention back to the TV. “You know, he isn’t as bad as we thought. He’s kinda nice.” Tom looked at Jared with surprise. “Yeah to look at, but seriously Jare that dude hangs with Navarro.” “Yeah I know, but Eli is his daughter’s uncle.” Jared said. “Oh, okay.” And with that said, Tom turned again back to TV. 

They sat in silence a while, Jared wiggling his leg, wanting to say something, but not knowing how. 

“Dude out with it” Tom sighed as slapped Jared’s leg 

“Okay. So you know the place were my mama is…” Jared waited for Tom to nod before continuing, “…so there is this girl who I’ve seen Eli with and my mama told me how nice he is. Sometimes when the girl is too out of it Eli talks with my mama, and I met him one time and I think he’s not that bad either.” Jared knew he was babbling, but he wanted Tom to understand. 

Tom looked calmly at Jared. “Hey Jared it’s okay. I’m not judging or anything. If you say he’s not that bad, I guess I believe you then.” Without further conversation they spent the rest of the evening in silence watching TV. 

* * 

Mike was so mad at his parents, he knew that it hurt Tom when he visited them, but they were his parents even though they were bastards sometimes. Mike stood in front of their apartment building and stared up at their windows. The lights were still on so Jared or Tom or both were still up. Mike wasn’t sure if he wanted to confront them tonight. He just wanted to go up and snuggle with Tom. Sighing Mike started to walk to the door. 

As Mike walked in to the apartment first thing he saw was Tom, sleeping on the couch with the TV and all the lights on, snoring lightly. Smiling Mike took of his shoes and jacket before he went turning off the TV and lights. He sat on the armchair beside the couch and just watched Tom sleep. When Tom started to mumble in his sleep Mike laughed quietly. He loved Tom so much and sometimes it scared him what he was ready to do for Tom. Standing up from the chair, Mike moved to kneel on the floor and he gently touched Tom’s face, petting Tom’s hair and kissing his temple. “Baby. Tom wake up.” Tom shifted and opened his eyes “Mike?” he asked sleepily. “Yeah it’s me. Come on to the bed” Mike smiled and helped Tom up, who sleepily turned to walk in to the bedroom. Mike looked after him thinking how lucky he truly was. 

Tom was already in bed, half sleep when Mike came into the bedroom. He stripped his clothes off and crawled under the cover. He lied on his back and Tom moved closer to him and laid his head on Mike’s chest. Listening Tom’s quiet snoring, Mike started to fall slowly asleep too. 

* * 

“Damn Mike, could you behave yourself for a while” Jared snapped when Mike threw his fries at him. 

It was lunchtime and they were sitting in the campus cafeteria. The food wasn’t really that bad even if Mike always whined about it. Jared was lost in his thoughts so he really wasn’t listening to what Tom or Mike was saying and it was annoying his friends, but he didn’t care. His father had called that morning and asked Jared to come see him after his classes were over. Jared was pretty sure what his father wanted to talk about, but Jared wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear anything that his father had to say. 

Jared was so far in his thought that he didn’t realize Jensen was standing next to their table until someone slapped on his head “Wha--” Everybody burst laughing, even Jensen. 

“Dude where were you?” Mike asked smiling. 

“Just lots of stuff on my mind” Jared huffed blushing and turned to look at Jensen. 

“Hi” Jensen smiled shyly. 

“Hi” Jared mumbled. 

Jensen turned his eyes at Mike “So Mike, can you come tonight?” Jensen asked coolly “Sure. Just name the place and say the time.” Mike grinned. Jared watched as Jensen took pen and paper out of his bag and leaned against the table to write his address. Jensen stood up and put his stuff back in his bag before handing the paper to Mike. ”I’m home around five or so and you can come after that. See you then.” Jensen waived his hand and walked away. 

Jared looked at Mike “What was that?” he asked. 

Mike flashed wicked smile “Are you jealous?” 

“Oh fuck you!” Jared said and rolled his eyes. 

  
* * 

Jensen was walking out of the cafeteria, deep in his thoughts when he bumped into something or someone. “Shit” 

“Oh just what I was looking for.” When he lifted his eyes, Jensen saw Eli standing in front of him. 

“Oh sorry about that man, I didn’t see you” Brushing it off, Eli started to walk down the hall along with Jensen. 

“So you were looking for me?” Jensen questioned after a while. 

“Oh yeah I was… Kinda” Eli laughed and Jensen raised his eyebrow. 

Eli huffed “Okay not exactly you, but I was around and I thought that I could come say hi” 

“No panic. Did you see Kristen?” Jensen asked and moved around a group of students before continuing to the main doors. 

“Yup, I brought her here half an hour ago” Jensen nodded and kept the doors open for Eli to exit. 

Following behind him, Jensen put on his sunglasses before speaking. “Hey, what’re you doing tonight?” 

Eli thought a bit and shrugged “Nothing I guess, maybe fixing cars. Why?” 

Just thinking if I could bring Sam over for a while. I have some school stuff to do and it would be easier without Sam distracting.” 

Eli smiled and clapped on Jensen’s back “of course she can come, I could use some help with the cars.” 

Jensen looked him amusedly, and Eli smirked “That girl is a wizard with the cars and she surely didn’t get that talent from you.“ 

Laughing Eli dashed away from Jensen’s hands, but he was followed by Jensen amused reply. “That’s it. You are going to pay for that, you freaking jerk!” 

* * 

Jared was driving his car, dogs in the backseat. He was so angry with his father. As expected the meeting with his father hadn’t gone any better than the first. He couldn’t believe his father was capable of doing something like that. Jared had known that his father was going to get divorce, but to call Jared’s mom crazy and then say that he was going to propose to his secretary, Jared had always suspected that there was more between his father and his secretary Dana. _First Meg’s death and now this. How the hell is mama going to get over this?_ Jared thought sadly. “Shit” Jared punched his fists on the steering wheel as the tears started to fall on his cheeks. _What I’m supposed to do, I can’t see her so broken again… damn it!_

* * 

Jensen watched as Mike put his stuff back in his bag. They had done notes, research and other stuff for their assignment. 

“It was fun even though it was only for school,” Mike said to him and Jensen nodded. 

He walked Mike to the door, but before leaving Mike turned to speak to him “I just thought that if you are free on Saturday, you could come to our party.” 

Jensen smiled shyly. ”I don’t know…I don’t want to intrude,” he said. 

Mike laughed “Hey, you really should come, everybody’s coming and Sandy’s bringing her new boyfriend, so you’re not the only outsider there” 

Jensen scratched his jaw and smiled “Um, I have to think about it okay?” 

Mike squeezed his shoulder “Sure. You know where to find me when you have decided.” With that Mike stepped out of the door, closing it behind himself. 

* * 

It was late night when Jensen went to say goodnight to Sam. Sam was lying on her bed and she smiled when Jensen sat down beside her. “It’s time to go sleep, baby” he stroked her hair and tickled her tummy. 

“Daddy, don’t do that” Sam giggled and squirmed. Jensen tugged her under the covers and kissed her hair. 

“Good night sweetie, I love you” 

“Good night daddy and I love you too” Sam said before she yawned. 

Jensen smiled when he stood up and walked towards the door. 

“Daddy?” 

Jensen turned to look at Sam “Yeah, baby?” 

“Can I go to Eli’s at weekend” 

Jensen looked her amusedly “Sure honey, you can call and ask him tomorrow if it’s okay. Now go to sleep.” 

“Okay dad” Was her sleepy reply. 

Jensen shut off the light before leaving her room and heading to his. He sat on his own bed and took a photo from the bedside table; it was he and Maddie, from when they were still young. She looked so happy in it. Lying down with the photo still clutched in his hands, Jensen’s thoughts took him seven years back in time… 


	5. interlude

  
Author's notes: young daddy!Jensen, confused!Madeleine, brotherly!Chris baby!Sam  


* * *

_I see my visions burn, I feel my memories fade with time_  
But I’m too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)  
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past  


I found you here, now please just stay for a while  
I can move on with you around  
I hand on you my mortal life, but will it be forever?  
I’d do anything for a smile, holding you ‘til our time is done  
We both know the day will come, but I don’t want to leave you 

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost  
It’s empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over  


Newborn life replacing life, replacing all of us,  
changing this fable we life in  
No longer needed here so where should we go  
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?  
But girl, what if there is no eternal life? 

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost  
It’s empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over  
Trials in life, questions of us existing here,  
don’t wanna die alone without you there  
Please tell me what we have is real 

So, what if I never hold you, or kiss you lips again?  
I never want to leave and memory for us to see  
I beg don’t leave me 

(Silence, you lost me, no chance for one more day)  
I stand here alone  
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home 

Avenged sevenfold ~ seize the day 

Jensen met Madeleine Navarro when he was seventeen; she was two years older than him. They were at the same party and at first Maddy had tried to flirt with him, but Jensen had been terribly shy and stuttered the whole time. She was nice about it, pinching his cheek and telling him that he was so cute, so innocent. Feeling like an outsider at the party, Jensen wanted to go home, but Maddy had pleaded with him to stay and keep her company. She told Jensen that she didn’t really know anyone there either and that she really liked Jensen. Since he didn’t have anywhere else to go spend his night, he had agreed to stay. The whole night was spent talking and laughing and just getting to know each other. 

They became fast friends. They had so much in common. They liked same music, movies and books, they both had a rough time at home and they were both going through some difficult times. Jensen wasn’t sure about his sexuality and Madeleine was living a pretty wild life. She partied a lot and tried to fit in, using drugs here and there. She had lots of friends, but not good ones, just friends to party and to do things with. Sometimes really stupid things. Jensen didn’t like that part of her life at all. 

Madeleine had a little brother, Eli, who was a year older than Jensen. She adored Eli and talked about him all the time. Jensen got to know Eli pretty good without ever even seeing the guy before. Maddy said that Eli were a smart and friendly guy who had lots of friends, but most of them were the sort you didn’t want to hang with your little brother; like criminals and gang members. Eli idolized their leader and it didn’t take long for Eli to join. Maybe everything would have been different if their mom hadn’t got married to Jack Fulton. 

Jack Fulton was this rich guy from Canada who promised to give everything between heaven and earth to their mother. It was a nice life at first. They had money to buy things, but in the end it went to their mothers head and it was downhill from there. She changed her name to Daisy, because it was more modern name that Margaret ever could be, and she became an ice-cold bitch, who didn’t care about anything besides her money and looks. 

Madeleine wasn’t really fond of Jack and well, Jack didn’t like her either, so it was best for everyone when she moved out on her own. At that time Eli wasn’t in contact with their mother anymore, because she didn’t approve of his gang and the gang was the most important thing in his life after his sister. Eli really tried to take care of his sister, but it was hard. Maddy lived like a vampire, sleeping all day and partying all night. She had really bad mood swings. At times she was sad and aggressive, but then she could be nice and happy too. Those times usually were with Jensen. 

Then Madeleine met someone. She said he was special and she thought she was in love. They dated for a while and the relationship was full of drunken nights and parties. It was the same time that Jensen went off to the college and they didn’t meet as often as they used to. 

When Maddy’s boyfriend dumped her, she came to visit Jensen. She was so lost and heartbroken that she begged Jensen to get crashed with her and as a good friend Jensen agreed. They drank tequila and smoked weed, later on that night Madeleine had asked him to have sex with her. They were both drunk, but Jensen knew it would be a big mistake and matter of fact, Jensen didn’t really like girls that way, but Maddy had said that if he didn’t do it, she would find someone who would. Jensen couldn’t let that happen so he had said yes. It was awkward as hell and at first it was difficult for Jensen to even get it up, but with his power of imagination the problem got solved quickly. After that it was just weird. That was the first and last time Jensen had sex with a girl and it was experience that he would remember always. 

Madeleine got pregnant; at first she didn’t dare to tell Jensen about it. Afraid that he would turn his back on her, but Eli talked her into it and got her to talk with Jensen. Of course Jensen was scared as hell, but he was sure that Maddy was even more terrified about the baby and Jensen knew he needed to be strong for both of them. 

After all the shock the pregnancy brought Madeleine calmed down and everything looked fine, she was lot happier than before. Jensen was still in college when he met Chris. Over time Chris became like a brother to him. With Chris’s support he was able to stay strong in light of the Maaddy situation. Chris’s presence helped his life flow smoothly. Jensen even introduced Chris to Maddy and they got along better than Jensen dared to hope. 

Samantha-Rose Navarro was born nine moths later. She was small and cute with her dark unruly hair and big eyes. Jensen fell in love the first time Sam was laid in his hands. She was Jensen’s little girl. 

Madeleine and Jensen were was happy about the baby and they asked Chris to be her godfather. Madeleine lived alone with Sam and Jensen stayed in the college. Chris moved away, because he got a job out of town, but he called both of them often to hear how his girls were doing. Jensen visited them every time he had chance and sometimes when he didn’t really have time, but family was more important than anything else in the world. After a while even Eli got out of the gang, but he still had friends in there. He moved in with Maddy and Sam to help them anyway he could. He worked in a garage and sometimes he helped his friends from the gang, fixing their cars, which he knew were stolen, but he didn’t ask about it. 

It took a year before everything came crashing down. Madeleine started to feel restless and depressed again. She went to speak with a doctor about it, but they said she was fine; it was just a little baby blues, nothing major. Their life continued that way, but Maddy’s depression got worse and worse every passing day. 

When Sam was almost three, came the final straw. Jensen’s father left. Jensen’s father couldn’t stand that one of his sons was gay and had a bastard child with mentally unstable girl. Madeleine blamed herself and tried to end her life three times, before Jensen made her go to see someone. 

Jensen quit college and moved in with his mom and took Sam to live with him. Chris came to help them too, but he still had a job in LA and he couldn’t stay long. It was good for Sam, because Chris had always been her favourite person. Her very own Chrizzy bear. 

Maddy was in the hospital almost a month, before they found her a good place to go and get better. It was in Bakersfield, California an institute specializing in different kind of depressions. While she was there everything felt empty in Texas so Jensen took his family with him and moved closer to Madeleine. He worked hard to take care of his family and to help pay Maddy’s hospital bills. Jensen knew he wasn’t happy living like that and he knew he wanted to finish his College education, but he also knew that it wasn’t possible yet. 

When Sam had her fourth birthday, Chris also moved to Bakersfield. He knew a guy there, Jeff Morgan, owned a bar and needed more staff to help around. It was easy for Jensen to get a job at the Deline. 

It took almost a year before Jensen went back to college and he was finally happy. Sam had a good life and her mom was close and her uncle Eli and Chrizzy bear. They had everything they needed. 

Only draw back was that Maddy was still sick and it was unlikely that she was ever going to be fine again. She had started to get panic attacks and it was proved several times that she couldn’t leave. When she was first released it took a day before she had to go back, because she had a really bad attack. Second time it took an hour and the third time it happened even before she was out of the wards. Jensen thought that she never wanted out, that she probably felt safer in there. 


	6. Chapter 5

  
Author's notes: beta:deanbear25 @ lj  


* * *

Jensen was sitting on the couch at Eli’s, while Sam was telling Kristin about her day spent with her uncle Chris and his tiny girlfriend. She told all about her soft voice and little hands. There was something about people’s hands that interested Sam immensely. Sam thought that Chris girlfriend’s hands were really nice and tender, like a mothers hands. Jensen noticed Kristin smiling fondly at the comments about Chris’s girlfriend. Jensen himself hadn’t met her yet, but Sam had told him everything about her when Chris had brought her home. 

When Eli came home, Sam forgot all about tiny girlfriends and was immediately in her uncle’s arms, whispering softly to him, sharing secrets. He listened very carefully before lifting her up and spinning her around and around, calling her his angel. Sam giggled and squeezed her arms tightly around him.” Uncle Eli, you are silly. Put me down” But Eli lifted her higher and she squealed “ Daddy, help me” Sam grinned wide when Eli put finally her down, kissing her hair before he turned to face Jensen. “ Did you have some place to be?” Eli lifted hid eyebrows amusedly. “Oh, yeah… I should get going” Jensen answered as he stood up from the couch and gave a big hug to Sam and kissed her cheek. “Be nice baby, we’ll see on Sunday” Sam looked at him annoyed ”Daddy, I’m always good and you know that.” She whined. Laughing he kissed Kristin’s cheek too “Try to bear those two. I’ll see you on Sunday too” Kristin smiled knowingly at him “Don’t worry, they’ll wear themselves out by fooling around the whole night” Jensen looked on as Eli and Sam talked excitedly and nodded “That’s so true” Jensen laughed and waved his hand to Sam before he walked to the front door. He turned to look at Eli, who had come to stand beside him “Thanks man for babysitting her again. I own you one” Eli laughed and nodded “It’s fun to have her around, so don’t worry about it. Have fun” Nodding his thanks Jensen opened the door and waived his good-byes to everyone. 

* * 

Mike was feeling a little buzzed already when Jensen finally arrived; he had been waiting on him for a while. When they had meet as Jensen’s home the first time, they had talked about a lot things as they worked on their assignment, and it made Mike realize that Jensen wasn’t as bad as they all had thought. Mike wanted to get to know the real Jensen. Calling Jensen’s name he hopped toward Jensen, grinning like a loon, and gave him half armed hug. Mike felt Jensen hesitantly respond by slapping his back. “Glad you came, man” Mike said to him. “Lets meet some people then. Come on” Mike took Jensen by his sleeve and leaded him around. He wanted Jensen to meet Tom, who was sitting on the couch and talking with some dark skinned guy. He may or may not go by the name Andy. “Hey babe” Mike whispered as he crashed between Tom and ‘Andy’ and leaned in to kiss Tom’s lips. “ Tom this is Jensen. Jensen this is my boyfriend Tom.” he waved his hand between the two of them. Tom stood up and held his hand out to Jensen. “Nice to meet you” they both mumbled. 

* * 

“Nock it off dude. That’s so gross. Chad! Oh my god… Ewww!” Jared and Chad were sitting together at the kitchen table. It was the quietest place in the house at the moment and all the booze was also in there, which was the reason Chad, moved his ass out of the company of all the pretty girls. Jared was just glad that he didn’t need to entertain anyone at the moment, he wanted to get drunk first, but drinking with Chad alone meant that Jared had to listen all about Chad’s sex life and that was just all kind of wrong. Chad looked at Jared questioningly, “What. What did I say? Okay anyway. So this girl was sitting on my face and she smelled like—“, Jared gagged and smacked Chad. “Dude, shut up. I don’t wanna hear it. Alright.” Looking wounded, Chad rubbed his head. “Sorry princess. You are in shitty mood today. What’s your problem man?” Jared just shook his head and turned to leave. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Sorry, I need to go bathroom.” Jared walked out of the kitchen and froze. Why didn’t anyone tell him that he was going to be there, because on the other side of the room, Jensen fucking Ackles was standing with his pretty eyes and sexy smile and handsome face and shit… Jared was getting hard and where the hell was that bathroom. It was then that Jensen noticed Jared’s presence. Jensen waved a little and turned to talk to his company before pulling away from… _Oh my god his coming over here. What I’m going to do. Oh god… No don’t come over here…_ Jared was panicking and he didn’t notice as two girls were approaching him before it was too late. He lost the sight of Jensen as he was pulled into the mass of dancing people. _Well shit…_

* * 

“It was nice to talk with you Andy, but there is someone I really need to see, so I gonna go now. See you around man.” Jensen clapped Andy on the shoulder before turning to head where Jared was standing. Jensen looked amusedly as Jared visibly started to panic. _Damn someone is looking good tonight. Hey don’t take him he’s mine. Dammit girls._ Looking around, Jensen tried to see where the girls took Jared. It should have been easy, what with Jared’s too tall body, but there wasn’t any trace of him. A little disappointed, Jensen turned to go into the room Jared just came out of. That was big mistake. “Hey new dude. Come party with Uncle Chad. So you into girls or boys…” _This is going to be loooong night…_

* * 

Chris was so bored. Sandy was off somewhere with Jared, probably dancing. He could admit to himself that he was little jealous because those two were a little too close for his liking. Really, how any remotely straight guy could just be friends with a girl as hot as Sandy. Even he had heard some rumor about Jared’s adventures with the both sexes. Even being so young that kid sure did get around a lot. Okay, Chris didn’t trust Jared, but he trusted Sandy and she wasn’t that kind of girl. “Hey baby” came soft whisper in his ear. Smiling, Chris turned to face Sandy and gave her chaste kiss. “Hey you” he whispered back. “So, did you have fun with Jared?” there had to be something in Chris’ voice because Sandy started to laugh softly. “Oh baby, were you jealous? You totally were, that’s so sweet.” Little embarrassed now Chris tucked his face in Sandy’s neck and laughed sheepishly. “I’m sorry about that,” Chris muttered. They sat like that for a while; Sandy petting Chris’ hair and talking softly but then one of Sandy’s favorite songs came on and she excitedly stood up, dragging Chris with her. “Come dance with me” she begged him, but Chris wasn’t into the idea “I think it would be better if I just stay here sitting on my pretty ass” they continued arguing about it, but then Chris was distracted by familiar face in the crowd. “That’s Jensen over there. You know, my best friend. Sorry babe I need to check on him” he said and kissed Sandy on the cheek before disappearing to find his friend. 

* * 

Jensen was trying to get out of the hands of a very drunk girl, who apparently didn’t know what gay meant. Really, there were big lips trying to eat his face and it was scary. It was at that moment when Chris appeared behind the girl’s back. “Okay lady. It might be best for you to find someone who appreciates the fact that you have boobs.” Chris turned the girl away from Jensen and dumped her in the lap of nearest guy, which conveniently turned out to be Chad. Glad with his gift, Chad smiled at them. “Hey thanks guys.” Chris and Jensen looked at each other before answering at the same time. “Yeah. No problem. You have fun” They laughed and turned away. 

Jensen and Chris found a quiet corner with a couch and they both sighed as they slouched down on the couch. Turning to look at his friend, Jensen lifted his eyebrow questioningly. “So what are you doing in here? I thought you were going to see Sandy’s family.” Chris shrugged sheepishly. “Well this is Sandy’s family. Chad, Jared, Mike and all the rest of them. What about you, I know your boy is here, but I didn’t know you were that far along already.” Chris leered at Jensen. “Oh shut up. It’s nothing like that. Mike invited me and that’s all.” They continued talking and occasionally they laughed at someone who did something stupid on the dance floor, but mainly they drank beer together and relaxed. 

* * 

Chris was telling a story about one of the trips he had with Steve and he was so engrossed with his tale that it took a minute before he realized that Jensen wasn’t even listening. “Dude, what is it. Hey Jensen I’m talking to you.” He said as he turned to look at his friend. Jensen didn’t notice him; he was too focused glaring daggers at someone. Chris followed Jensen’s stare. _Well I should have guessed. Oh man those are one big pair of boobs and dam that is nice ass. Jared sure knows how to have fun although it seems that Jensen doesn’t approve._ It was clear for Chris to see that Jensen was really jealous of those two girls that were currently dancing with Jared or in this case humping Jared. If looks could kill, those girls would already be long gone. Chuckling to himself, Chris turned to face Jensen and nudged Jensen’s shoulder with his. “Dude, if you stare any harder your eyes are going to pop out. Seriously, stop it.” Taken aback a little, Jensen lowered his eyes to his lap. “I didn’t do anything.” He mumbled and it made Chris snort. “Yeah sure you didn’t. What with trying to set those girls on fire with your eyes.” Chris could see that Jensen was blushing. “And I didn’t know you had the rights to be jealous of your boy there.” Jensen mumbled something, but Chris couldn’t hear. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear it.” Jensen sighed exasperated. “I said that I didn’t. I don’t have any rights on him.” Chris looked at his friend’s slumped form and smiled a little. “Well if you get up off your pathetic ass and go to talk to him, you might have it in the near future.” Jensen stared at Chris with a puzzled look on his face. Chris took Jensen’s jaw in his hand and turned his face in the direction where Jared was quickly walking. “Go on then. Go talk to him.” Without further arguing, Jensen was on his feet and staggering after Jared. Chris relaxed back into the couch with smile on his face. _Oh yeah… One problem already solved. Dam I’m good_! 

* * 

“Hey Jared, wait up” Came a shout from behind Jared. He stopped and turned to see who had yelled to him. It was Jensen. After he was kidnapped, Jared hadn’t seen Jensen all night. Jensen was looking even better now that he was flushed from alcohol and more relaxed. Jared felt his face break into a big smile. “Jensen!” He shouted energetically and pulled Jensen in tight hug. “I’ve been looking for you man. I’m sorry about earlier, but these girls are just crazy.” Jensen laughed a little awkwardly. “Yeah I noticed,” he answered as he was released from the unexpected hug. Jared watched him with raised eyebrows and shook his head. “So, what’s up?” All thought had escaped Jensen’s brain and he didn’t know what he wanted to say. “Um… So when do you think you would be free to come play with Sam?” Jared felt little disappointed, but kept a smile on his face. “Well, sometime next weekend would be great.” Jared had just got the words out of his mouth when someone bumped into Jensen, sending his straight into Jared’s arms. They both froze at first, but it didn’t last long. They stepped back from each other, Jared staring everywhere but at Jensen and Jensen shifting awkwardly on his feet. Jared could feel his erection trying to get free from his jeans. It had felt so good to have Jensen in his arms. It felt so right, and now he was sounding like a girl. Taking a deep breath, Jared turned back to face Jensen. The older man was still staring at his feet and scratching the back of his neck with his right hand. It was clear that Jensen was feeling uncomfortable. “Shit Jensen. This is so stupid.” It was really. They were both grown ups and not some school girls with crushes and hey, Jensen probably didn’t even like him like that. “Come on dude. Lets go find more beer and go laugh at Chad. Come on, what do you say?” Jared smiled brightly and Jensen couldn’t help, but smile back. “Okay then. Lead the way.” That was the end of the awkward silence and for the rest of the night they laughed and talked and watched each other when the other wasn’t looking. It was a pretty good night in the end. 

* * 

When Sam woke up it was to the noise coming from the kitchen. She stretched her arms and yawned wide before she got off the bed. It was probably Kristin making some breakfast, because it couldn’t be her uncle Eli, as he loved to sleep in on the weekends. Sam giggled when she thought about it and went to use the bathroom. 

Kristin was making coffee and toasts when Sam sat down at the table, “ Morning Kristin” she said happily. Kristen turned to look at her “Oh morning sweetie, did you sleep well?” She smiled as she spoke. “Yes I did, thank you “ Sam grinned. Kristin gave her one of the pieces of toast that were already ready and poured some juice. Sam thanked her and started to eat her breakfast. They sat there in comfortable silence as they ate. 

They were almost finished when Eli walked in sleepily. Sam smiled at him and Eli leaned to kiss her cheek before he kissed Kristen. “Morning ladies” both girls giggled and wished their good mornings. Sam watched them silently. Sometimes Sam wished that her mom could be with them, but she knew that her mom was sick and it made her sad, because she couldn’t help her. Daddy had tried to explain to her what was wrong with her mom, but she still didn’t understand what depression meant. She didn’t ask about it anymore, because she knew it made daddy really sad, but Sam still thought about her mom often. Uncle Eli looked a lot like her mom. They had the same skin color and their eyes looked the same, only mom had longer lashes and longer hair. Daddy had showed her old pictures of her mom; she was beautiful, with shiny black hair and a pretty smile. The last time Sam saw her mom she didn’t have shiny hair anymore and her smile was so sad. 

When Eli and Kristen started to clean up the table, it looked different from what she was used to. Usually her grandma made breakfast for Sam and her dad. There was a time when she wanted her dad to have a girlfriend and she had asked about it when she was four. Daddy had been so nervous when he explained that he didn’t think it would be nice and that he really didn’t like woman like that. It was still confusing, but Sam understood that if there was going to be someone in her father’s life it would be a boyfriend. A boy like Jared. Jay was really funny and he had silly hair, and he played with her. Jay also had Harley and Sadie. Sadie and Harley were the best dogs in the world and Sam loved them. She sometimes thought that if daddy liked men, then he could make Jay his boyfriend. That would be fun, and then she could have two silly dogs. The idea made Sam giggle. “What’s so funny young lady?” Eli poked her rips and made Sam giggle harder “Nothing uncle Eli!” 

* * 

Mike’s head was exploding; it felt like a marching band had started practicing in there. Tom’s arm felt heavy on his chest and it was hard to breath; he felt dizzy and weak. Groaning, Mike tried to get up, but Tom mumbled something in his sleep and tried to scoot Mike closer. Mike sighed and laid back down next to Tom. It was really too early to get up anyway. Tom nuzzled Mike’s neck, his hand drifting along Mike’s chest “What’re you thinking about baby?” he murmured in Mike’s ear. Mike placed small kiss on Tom’s forehead “Nothing important, go back to sleep” Mike slowly stroked his thumb over Tom’s cheek and planted butterfly kisses along Tom’s face. Before Tom could fall back to sleep, Mike moved Tom’s hand away and kissed Tom quickly on the lips before getting out of the bed. “I’m going to take a shower.” In answer, Tom lifted the covers over his head and started to snore. Chuckling to himself, Mike went to take his desperately needed shower. 

Mike stood under the shower, hot water cascading down his back, relaxing his muscles. His thoughts were lingering on yesterday. The whole night Mike had watched how Jared and Jensen acted when in each other’s company. It was so obvious to Mike that there were really some feelings between those two, but even if Jensen seemed like a nice and good guy, Mike still wasn’t sure if he could trust him. Jared might be a big boy and people talked a lot about his conquests, but the real Jared was maybe a little naïve and too trusting and an overall good guy. It was Mike’s biggest fear that some day someone would come along and take advantage of that. Mike turned off the shower and toweled off. 

* * 

Chris really needed to take a piss, but he didn’t want to wake Sandy up. She was curled up next to him like a kitten, sleeping on Chris arm, which was already feeling numb. He moved a little and kissed Sandy’s shoulder and lifted her off of his arm. Chris got off the bed and sneaked out of the bedroom. He was heading to the bathroom when Tom came upon him. “Morning” Chris said happily. Tom still looked sleepy, but smiled to him “Morning. You slept well in the quest bedroom?” Chris nodded with a smile. He watched as Tom continued his walk to the kitchen before he himself went to the bathroom. 

* * 

Jared was already up, greeting him with a too bright smile, when Tom entered in the kitchen. “Morning to you too,” he grumbled. Jared laughed and shook his head, “Is everybody going to be cranky on this fine morning?” Tom rubbed his head, which felt a little heavy. “What do you expect after a night of heavy drinking?” he leaned his against the table on his elbows. He should have brushed his teeth and took a shower first. His mouth tasted god-awful and his body was hurting like hell. _What the hell we did last night? I’m feeling like shit. This is all Mike’s fault._ “Could you give me a coffee, please?” he asked Jared miserably. Jared shook his head again and handed a cup of coffee to Tom. Tom thanked before taking first gulp from his mug. _This is heaven…_ ”Did you have fun yesterday?” he asked Jared. Jared nodded enthusiastically and grinned, “Yeah I did. I got to talk with Jensen. He is a really good guy, you know” “ I guess, Mike likes him too I think.” Tom placed his cup on the table and stretched his back. “ I think, I need a shower now” Jared sniffed “Yeah I agree. Dude, you stink.” Tom slapped him on the head and headed out of the kitchen, muttering “Smartass”. 

* * 

Sandy was putting clothes on when Chris entered in the room.” Good morning sweetie” she said to him. Chris put his hands around her waist and hugged her, “Good morning to you too” Chris gave her a little kiss. He broke off smiling and took his clothes, “ What are you doing today” he asked as he started to dress. Sandy chewed her lip in thought. “Nothing I guess. Why?” Chris looked at her a little shyly and said, “Um, I’m going to go visit mom… err Jensen’s mom, but she’s kinda adopted me, so… I just wondered if you want to come too?” Sandy’s smile grew wider “I’d love to come.” 

* * 

Jensen walked through the corridor, looking for the nurse. He stopped beside the reception desk and waited for someone to come. It took fifteen minutes before the day nurse came to greet him. “Oh, hi Jensen” she smiled sweetly at him. Jensen smiled back “Hi Martha. Is Madeleine in her room or…” Martha’s smile was sad when she talked “She’s in her room. Been there for days now.” Jensen nodded “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. Thank you” Martha gave him a little nod before he headed towards the room Maddy was using. 

Her door was closed and Jensen opened it warily and his smile faded. Maddy was sitting in one corner of the room, hands on her ears and muttering something to herself. Jensen couldn’t hear what she was saying. He walked closer, kneeled in front of her and touched her shoulder. She flinched a little and looked at him not seeing anything and still muttering. “Hi, sweetie” Jensen whispered and stroked her hair, “What’s wrong?” he asked, knowing that she wouldn’t say anything, but she stopped her muttering. She blinked her eyes and turned to look at the door. Jensen saw tears falling to her cheeks, and sighing as he tugged her into his arms while he whispered comforting words against her ear. He knew that she didn’t care what he was doing or saying, but he just couldn’t watch her and not to do anything. To Jensen’s surprise, she hugged him back as it happened so rarely. She hung on to him more and Jensen felt his own eyes watering, “Sam” he heard her whisper and Jensen kissed her forehead before answering. “She’s with Eli” Maddy looked at him with wide eyes and whispered, “Sing” and Jensen smile to her. Maddy had always liked when he sang to her, because it was one of the rare things that calmed her. Jensen started humming first and then he was singing her favorite song to her. He didn’t know why ‘Seize the day’ was so special to her, but he didn’t care when in the end it made Madeleine happy. “ _\--Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost. It’s empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over --“_


	7. Chapters 6 - 8

  
Author's notes: written with alex (dreamsparkle3 @lj)  


* * *

Chapter 6

 

Sam didn’t like waiting. Like all the other five year olds, she didn’t have enough patience to wait for something exciting to happen and today she was waiting for Jared. That very morning, Jensen had told her that Jared was coming by to visit them around noon so Sam was now looking out of the window, bouncing up and down nervously and watching her daddy act all nervous too, but she didn’t know why. It was kind of funny to see daddy like that, fixing and cleaning everything twice while sweeping aside invisible bits of dust on the shelves.

 

“Daddy…!” she whined.

 

“What sweetie?” Her dad came next to her and asked.

 

“When he’s going to come, daddy?” Sam questioned then smiled when Jensen ruffled her hair. “Daaad, don’t mess my hair!” Sam pouted at her dad because he just laughed.

 

When Jared finally parked his car on their driveway, Sam was little nervous, and she felt butterflies flying around in her stomach, it was stupid feeling and she didn’t like it at all. When their doorbell rang, Sam was too jumpy and excited, her face felt hot. Sam bashed to the hall and watched when Jensen opened the door to Jared. Then Sam smiled so wide that her face hurt, when Jared came in.

 

“Hi, Sam,” he said, but Sam couldn’t say anything back, only little whimper came out of her mouth. Sam heard her dad asking Jared to come in so Sam ran in the living room when Jared followed her. She sat down on the couch and rubbed her burning cheeks.

 

Sam watched her father as he talked with Jared. Her daddy looked happy and smiled a lot. She tried to concentrate on the game, which came on TV, but she was too excited about Jared being there to care who won.

 

* *

 

Jared was good guy, as Jensen knew and he was funny, handsome and Jensen really liked to talk with him, even if Jared’s presence did make him a little horny. As Jensen was listening to Jared’s story about his week, he remembered that when they had met at Mike’s party Jared had told him something about work. Jensen really wanted to be friends with Jared, and he knew he was falling hard, but it was just that he didn’t want to complicate things with Jared.

 

“Do you want a coffee or something?” smiling as he got up on the couch. 

 

“Coffee is fine” Jared answered. Jensen walked to the door and turned to look at his daughter 

 

“What about you, do you want something too?” Sam looked at him, eyes wide and what came out her out mouth was “Iwannasomejuiseandcanihavesomeicecream?” 

 

Jensen rolled his eyes and smiled at his daughter “Okay, I didn’t get any of that it but I’ll bring you something” and headed to the kitchen.

 

He knew that Sam had a little crush to on Jared, and even though he knew how she felt, it was kind of funny, because Sam didn’t like that kind of thing. Girls her age thought that boys were gross.

 

* *

 

Chris sat down to eat his dinner, while listening to Steve talk about his girlfriend problems. 

 

“Hey, dude, Y’ know I’m probably the last person you need to help you with that” Chris smirked before he continued “You should go to talk Jensen like rest of us.” Even if Jensen didn’t have a relationship or date; he was good to giving advice about those things. 

 

Chris had already talked with him, about Sandy and Jensen had said that if he really liked her, he should at least try to do that relationship thing. Jensen had then laughed when Sandy had called to him and told him to pick her up. He had laughed so hard because he said that it was funny to see him so whipped. Chris just had glared at him and walked out of the house, hearing Jensen’s laughing behind him.

 

Steve flashed him a knowing smile. “You went to Jensen’s too,” he smirked. Chris muttered something under his breath and glanced at Steve. “ It’s kinda funny that we go to Jensen when we have relationship problems because Jensen always freaks out if someone even tries to hit him” Chris busted out laughing hard. 

 

“Yeah, I wonder.  Last time he had a one nightstand  and he called me nine in the morning, he’s some pansy alright.” They both laughed hard, it was really wrong to have fun with Jensen's shyness but what could they do, it was kind of hilarious. 

 

“Yeah, but seriously, I think that our Jenny is falling for that Jared” Chris said with serious tone.

 

 Steve nodded “I have seen that too, but do you think that he’s gonna do something about it?” 

 

Chris looked little amused at Steve, “Jensen? No he’s not gonna do nothing, you know” Chris stood up and took two beer out of the fridge and handed the other one to Steve “ …but from what I hear from Sandy, the feeling is mutual and Jared isn’t shy” 

 

Steve opened the beer and took long gulp “I have heard too, he’s one stud if you ask me” 

 

Chris looked knowingly at Steve “People talk a lot of shit, but for now I think Jared is good guy. If he even tries to fuck up with jenny, I’m gonna kick his ass.”

 

* *

 

Jensen sat on the couch watching Jared playing games with Sam. Sam bounced up and down and pushed Jared’s hand trying to get him lose the current game. They looked funny, both of them, their tongues out of the mouth, consecrating on the game.

 

 Jensen laughed hard when Jared won. The younger man pumped his fist in the air and danced his dorky victory dance around living room. 

 

“You cheated” Sam pouted on the floor. 

 

“No. You tried to cheat, but because you did, you lost.” Jared said with a little laugh.

 

 Jensen sat on the floor with them and poked on the Sam lip. “You’re going to lose that too, if you pout so hard,” he said smiling to his daughter. Sam smiled back a little and Jensen’s smile grew. “That’s my girl” Jensen said affectionately, ruffling her hair.

 

* *

 

Jared watched Jensen and Sam. It was so comfortable and it felt so warm, like he belonged there, sitting on the floor with them. He grinned when Jensen tickled Sam’s feet and Sam fell over she giggled so hard. It was strange that he had only known Jensen for such a short period time and it caused an dull ache in his chest whenever he had to remind himself he wasn’t part of his family and one day he would have to leave. 

 

He was falling for Jensen so hard and just the thought of having nothing of the older man is his life or his sweet little girl crushed him so much he could barely breathe. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand it when the time came but he also knew there was nothing he could do to stop this feeling. They didn’t even really know each other yet but he loved Jensen and Sam, and he wasn’t going to ruin anything by pushing himself on Jensen, so he was just going to have to be the best friend that Jensen ever had.

 

Sam curled up on his lap to watch TV and just her warmth made him blissfully happy. He hadn’t really thought about kids yet, but Jared knew that if his relationship with Jensen ever went further than friendship, he would really want to know Sam too. Sam was such a so sweet and lovely kid.

 

“Want to play again?” Sam asked him, he smiled to her and poked on her nose.

 

“If you want to lose again.” Jared warned.

 

Sam laughed. “You wish.”

 

* *

 

Chris was lying on the couch with Sandy watching something on the TV when Sandy suddenly shifted. 

 

“Did you know that Jared is visiting Jensen, today?” Sandy asked him. 

 

He stared questioningly at her smiling “Yeah, I knew, why?” 

 

Sandy looked at him worriedly. “Just that, err you know that Jared isn’t that slutty as people say,” 

 

Chris nodded reassuringly rubbing his hand up her arm. “Yeah I know, ‘cos otherwise I would have punched him, ouch!” Chris yelped then laughed when Sandy hit him sharply on the shoulder “You’re mean.” 

 

Sandy smirked, “…but seriously, Jared really likes Jensen.”

 

 “know, but Jensen won’t want to take any risks, he has way too much on his mind and he doesn’t want to… I don’t know, get into a complicated relationship but he has Sam to worry about and that little girl is his whole world” Chris looked at Sandy with little smile on his lips. 

 

Sandy tenderly stroked his hand with her fingertips. “ I know, Chris, but can’t you tell me why he’s so scared? I mean, Jared likes Sam too” 

 

Chris looked at their linked hands. “It’s not that he’s scared, Sandy. He has been through some of the worst shit imaginable and gotten through it that he really doesn’t deserve anymore. Like when his father left them after Sam was born, and then Maddy getting sick. His life changed so much when Maddy broke down. It was so hard for him, seeing his best friend slowly losing herself and he had their little girl to look after as well and taking care of his mother,” Chris was quiet little while. “You know, he hasn’t been dating since Maddy got in the hospital. First he hadn’t enough time to date, then it was too hard to find someone who accepted Sam too… then he just gave up. He doesn’t want to date because of Sam, that little girl has lost her mother and Jensen doesn’t want that to happen again because he thinks that everyone is gonna leave them eventually and he don’t want to Sam go through that.” 

 

Sandy kissed him gently on the cheek and Chris closed his eyes “That’s hard” Sandy said quietly.

 

Chris sighed “Yeah, I know but I wish it wasn’t Jensen deserves to have someone looking after him for a change, someone to make him happy” 

 

“ Yeah I think that too” Sandy leaned in to kiss him.

 

**Chapter 7**  
  
Time flowed by fast. They had been friends more than a month and Sam had fallen in love with the overgrown puppy named Jared, even Donna enjoyed his company. Jared was just so easy to hang around with. He was funny, caring and damn good-looking. Jensen had gotten so used to being around him, it no longer bothered him that Jared was such a touchy feely kind of guy. Jensen now thought it was normal that Jared hugged him every chance he got, but sometimes it was frustrating, because Jensen got a hard on from even the slightest touch Jared bestowed upon him.  
  
Like now for example, they were just walking in the park, Sam and dogs were fooling around ahead of them and Jared’s arm circled round his shoulder; Jared was so close that Jensen could feel warmness of Jared’s body.   
  
“Oh man, it was so awesome” Jared was rambling about some car, he had seen earlier “…and it was all shiny red and…”   
  
Jensen stopped walking and smirked at him. “You told me that one already, dude,” then he had to smile because Jared had started pouting and was staring at him with those stunningly gorgeous puppy dog eyes that made him want to melt. Jensen prodded his cheek and tickled it slightly “You look like Sam when you pout,” which earned him to see those damn dimples.   
  
“Ouch! What was that for!” Jensen whined when Jared smacked him on the head and ran off laughing towards Sam and the dogs. Smiling Jensen shook his head and ran after him.  
  
Jensen was more than exhausted by the time he sat down on the nearest bench. He watched Jared and Sam while they were playing with the dogs. It was nice day, sun shined in clear sky. Mike had asked him to join them on their trip, which was next weekend. Luckily Jensen didn’t have to think about who would watch Sam because Maddy was going to have free weekend then and she was going to stay with Eli and Kristen, so Maddy had asked Sam to come too, which was good news. Sam really missed her a lot. They had visited her with Jared too and even Maddy loved Jared. When he had visited him alone, Maddy had asked him when they got together, and she had laughed when he told that they were just a friends.  
  
Jensen snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Sam’s crying. She had felt down on the ground and Jensen ran to check on his daughter, but Jared was there first. When Jensen got there, Jared was whispering gentling words to her and she was cuddling in Jared chest.   
  
“It’s okay Sammy, your daddy came too,” but Sam didn’t want to her daddy, Jared was just as good to her as him now and that amused Jensen a little. Sam stopped crying and kissed Jared’s cheek.   
  
“I love you, Jay.” she said and ran off shyly after the dogs. Jared watched her run away and smiling turned to look at Jensen. “I love her too, you know”   
  
Jensen smiled “Yeah, its hard not to.” ...and Jensen couldn’t help thinking the same was true for the man in front of him.   
* *  
  
Jared watched while Sam ran to play with Sadie and Harley. He loved that kid, so much. He still hadn’t thought about having his own kids yet, he was still too young for that, but he could definitely be Sam’s parent. Jared couldn’t think about his life without Sam and Jensen. He had been their friend over month now, but it felt like forever. Smiling he walked towards the bench where Jensen was sitting and sat next to him.   
  
Jared had wondered how Jensen ended up having a kid and finally couldn’t keep quiet anymore. “So… I know that this is none of my business and you don’t have to tell if you don’t want to…” he said quietly but couldn’t get himself to continue.  
  
Jensen looked amused. “Okay, what?” He asked.   
  
Jared smiled a little “How… you know …you being gay, I just wondered how you and Maddy… er you know?” It was a little embarrassing to ask but he really wanted to know. Jensen started to laugh, which made Jared little more embarrashed. “You can’t say had sex, can you?” Jensen laughed harder.   
  
Jared punched him on his arm “Okay, okay”.   
  
Jensen stopped laughing and looked him seriously. “I did know then for sure that I was gay, but Maddy had had this relationship which ended badly, and she took it hard” Jensen looked down on his hands “So we ended up drinking together. She just wanted to forget everything, wanted to pretend nothing bad had happened and being closest she was going to use me as a good one night fuck or someone else.” he paused and looked at Sam, who were running with dogs. “I didn’t want her to do anything stupid, so when she asked me I said yes” Jensen turned look at him.   
  
Jared didn’t know what to say “… but you were gay then, right?”   
  
Jensen smiled “Oh yeah, I was definitely gay, but you know, I haven’t had sex with other girls, so Maddy was first and the last girl, and the sex was…” Jensen laughed, “Not so good, awkward even.” Jared just looked at Jensen and nodded his head. “Honestly, it was a mistake, but it was the best mistake I have ever done” and when Jensen said it he looked at Sam and smiled. Jared could believe that.  
  
* *  
  
Sandy was waiting for Chris but he was late. She was standing outside of her home and Chris had told her to that he was going to pick her up there after he had visited Madeleine. Usually she wasn’t jealous of him but she hadn’t met that Maddy girl yet and the way Chris spoke about her- was all caring and loving.   
  
She knew that she was acting stupid but every time when Chris spoke about Maddy, she saw all love in his eyes. Sighing she fixed her hair and smiled when she saw Chris’s car coming closer.  
  
* *  
  
Donna looked out of kitchen window; she was waiting for Chris and his sweet little girlfriend to come by. Smiling she thought about the first time when Chris had brought Sandy home with him, it was so very amusing. Chris had been so nervous and Sandy had been no better but now they came every weekend to visit her and sandy had opened up more. Chris now acted like he used to be, Donna was really happy for them.  
  
When she saw Chris parking his car, she headed to open the door to them. She hugged Sandy and then Chris. “Hi mom,” Chris said and kissed her on the cheek.   
  
Donna turned to Sandy “Hi sweetie, has Chris been good?” she asked Sandy, knowing that it would make them both turn a little red. She almost laughed when Sandy mumbled little yes and blushed so deeply.   
  
“Come in, Jensen and Sam should be here soon, with their overgrown puppy in tow.” She loved to tease her kids sometimes. Then she saw Sandy looking a little confused, so she added affectionately. “You know that child-like bouncing giant, who is here all the time?”   
  
“Oh,” Sandy snickered when she realized whom she meant. “You mean Jared”   
  
They decided to sit outside, because the weather was so nice. It was still warm and because they had own backyard that she made sure was well cared for, it was lovely to sit out there. When they had first moved here, it was ugly and uncared for, but with Chris and Jensen’s help she made it look beautiful.   
  
“So how’s everything?” she asked Chris, sitting next to Sandy.   
  
Chris showed her his charming smile “…but you already know everything, mom.”   
  
She loved that Jensen’s friend acted natural around her, like Chris, first time Jensen had brought him to Texas, he was like a family member straight away.   
  
“But I visited Maddy today” Chris said smiling warmly. Donna smiled back, but she saw little change from Sandy when Chris started to talk about Madeleine. “She’s so excited to get out for a couple of days”   
  
Donna was so excited to see her again out of the clinic, “So you don’t think that she’s gonna do anything like she did before?” Donna was still a little worried about that. She loved her as much as her boys and wanted maddy to get better.   
  
“No I don’t think so” Chris looked at his girlfriend and then back to Donna. “She’s so much better now, when I was there, she told everything about Jensen’s and Sam’s last visit and how she wants to be with Sam when she gets her weekend off”  
  
**  
  
  
Eli sat on the couch and braided Maddy’s hair. Her hair was shinier than before. Eli had always loved his sister hair, she had long dark hair and before everything happened, it was most beautiful hair he had ever seen. Their mother’s hair was almost like Maddy’s but it wasn’t as shiny and beautiful.  
  
When he finished doing Maddy’s hair, he kissed her hair and hugged her tight. He loved her so much. “They’re ready, sweetie” he said smiling to his sister. Maddy turned to look at him, she was so different now, she got little sparkles on her eyes and her smile wasn’t sad anymore.   
  
Maddy stood up and sat next to him. She smiled shyly and spoke with small voice. ”I’m so excited that I can spend a whole weekend with Samantha”   
  
He took Maddy’s hand in his own. “That good, she’s excited about it too” he knew that Sam had been waiting for it so long. “And I wanna visit Donna too if she’s home” Eli smiled for his sister, they both loved Jensen’s mom and they were so happy that Donna was in their lives.   
  
“She’s so happy for you, she wants to spend a day with you and Sam” Maddy turned to look at him, smiling and looking so healthy “ I would love to do that too.”  
  
**  
  
Donna heard their front door open, smiling as she got up and waited rest of her family to show up. Sam came first, running through the back door into Chris’s arms. Donna looked smiling at them, they both laughed and giggled, then there bashed two giant dog and they jumped on all of them.  
  
Donna was laughing hard and happy when her son and his shadow came in the patio. Both of the laughing and teasing each other’s, the day was shiny and warm, Donna was happy to spend it with her loved ones, even if four of them weren’t there.

 

 

**Chapter 8**

Jensen had switched off the light to his daughter’s room happily. The sight of Sam sprawled across her bed  with two dogs of  the same size was a picture that would never get old.

Donna had gone to bed, Chris and Sandy had gone home and that left him and Jared on the couch in front of the TV.

For some reason his pulse had taken up running in the younger man’s presence and as much as he tried he couldn’t ignore the arm Jared had placed on the back of the sofa as they watched the action film in front of them.

He was so damn close he could smell Jared’s shampoo and for some reason cinnamon. All of which was making his mouth water and it was killing him trying to sit still while his pants were getting seriously uncomfortable.

He realised he didn’t even know what was happening on screen. His eyes had glazed over when his thoughts had taken over and he was surprised when something heavy collided with his shoulder. Suddenly there was a soft mouth pressed against his neck and hair tickling at his jaw.

“Jared!?” he squeaked, then sighed when he realised he wasn’t moving. Jared had fallen asleep. He moved his arm carefully around the sleeping form so it wouldn’t go dead under the weight but to his horror it only served to dislodge him.

He slipped down onto Jensen’s chest giving him a heart attack as an arm wrapped around his waist and he snuffled mumbling “..Jen..sen....”sweetly in his sleep.

_Oh fuck!_ Jensen panicked wondering how Jared could do this to him. He was surprised his heartbeat hadn't woken the man-puppy strewn across his chest it was beating that hard.

His breath caught as he looked closer at the young man. He was gorgeous under normal circumstances but the TV had to set his hair aglow and tinged his lips a darker red. He lifted a hand to ruffle Jared’s hair and it was softer that it had been in his wildest dreams and he couldn’t resist running his hand through it again.

He was so fucking lost. He couldn’t believe he had let himself fall so hard he was getting off from petting a guys hair. He was still there when the movie ended and he switched it off, sitting there in the dark until sleep claimed him too.

***

It was so warm when Jared awakened he refused to get up. Harley licked his nose and he heard giggling as he turned his face away and wiped his face on his cushion. It shifted underneath him and he told it off by gently sinking his teeth into it to keep it still.

“Hey!” he felt the yelp more than heard it and looked up, jaw dropped, to see the most gorgeous sight of a just woken up Jensen before he fell off from where he had been precariously placed on Jensen’s stomach.

Sam, Sadie and Harley appeared above him grinning and out of sight he heard Jensen laughing at his clumsiness. His dogs sniffed at him not giving a damn about his personal space as usual to check he was okay before giving him a lick and moving closer to the heater.

“Daddy was using you as a teddy-bear.” Sammy squealed happily; way too giddy for when he had just woken up.

“No honey, I think it was the other way round.” Jensen chuckled and pointed out much to his embarrassment. He was just glad to hear the smile in Jensen’s voice and that he wasn’t freakin’ out. “...and what I wanna know is if Jared usually bites his bears or whether it’s just when they look as attractive as me?” Jensen teased and Jared’s heart stopped.

_God yes it’s when they look as attractive as you,_ Jared thought but he just blushed bright red and moved to sit on the sofa before Sam jumped into his lap, still in her pyjamas.

“I think Jared’s a good teddy-bear.” Sam insisted, not giving up her point and pouting because she was jealous Jared and Daddy got to stay together all night and she had had to go to bed.

“I think so too...” Jensen said and Jared’s snapped right up to Jensen’s trying to gauge the meaning behind those words but just saw gentle teasing in those green eyes.

Jensen yawned and moved towards the kitchen, “I’m gonna get my morning drug, do you all want anything.” He smiled. Jared shook his head and Sam wanted some orange juice so then he was left alone with a little girl squirming on his lap and two dogs trying to claim purchase on the space Jensen had just left on the sofa.

They were quiet for a while, Jared trying to imprint that feeling of Jensen under him, knowing he may not feel it ever again when Sam snapped him out his thoughts.

“Are you gonna marry Daddy?” Jared was so surprised he didn’t even register the question.

“What?”

“...because I heard Chrissy-bear say he wanted to ask Sandy to marry her and he looks at her the way you look at daddy?” Sam explained. Jared was speechless. He had known Sam was smart but this...

“It’s not that simple sweetie, me and your dad are just friends.” Jared said regretfully but knew he couldn’t say anything else.

“I wish you were my daddy too, then I would get to see you every day.” Sam said.

“You do get to see me every day, sweetheart.”Jared laughed.

“It’s not the same.”

Jared sighed. “No, you’re right it’s not.”

 

 


End file.
